Finding Her Happiness

Chapter 5:

Colby Violet's P.O.V.

I wake up disoriented. I have forgotten where I am, what I had been doing for the hours before I fell asleep, and who was with me. That was until I heard a familiar yet new voice. Eli. Gosh, who is this boy? Never before have I felt something like this. Me, someone who desperately needs people and relationships, has never felt like this.

It's hardly describable. Butterflies fill my stomach, but he makes me feel calm. I feel safe and protected but not dominated. His warmth is welcoming, and I could be with him for as long as he'll allow. I look down to see his hand in mine, his fingers intertwined perfectly with mine.

"Are you awake, Colby?"

I pull my body away from his chest to glance up into his eyes.

"That's a yes. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, tired still. Where are we going?"

"My house, remember? You're staying with us for a little while."

"Oh, yeah. I don't have my things."

"Don't worry. Your mother is dropping it off."

"I didn't get to say goodbye."

Panic rises in me, and I cling to Eli tightly. My fists clench his shirt, my face buried into his neck. He rubs gentle circles on my back, explaining everything that's going on. My mother, with confirmation from my father and brother, is allowing Mr. Richard to help me through therapy for my DPD. To have the process develop in a more comfortable way and as to not have me fall back onto my normal routine, I'm going to be living with Mr. Richard and his family until I'm ready to go back home.

My family is allowed to visit me but for short periods of time. It's all part of the process to make me a more independent person with DPD. Eli said that he's even going to help. I still feel sort of wronged by my family being so willing to send me with a stranger, but if my family trusts Mr. Richard then so do I. If this will make my family happy and proud of me, I'll do it. I'm not exactly comfortable with the situation, but Mr. Richard (who overheard Eli and I) says that's okay.

Mr. Richard says the transition to a better more self confident and controlled life will be easier if I disrupt life. Like moving when needing a fresh start. Uprooting myself and developing something entirely new might be the best way for me to evolve. I understand what Mr. Richard is saying, but it's going to be hard. I'm not exactly ready for all of this, and I don't really know if I want to change.

I mean, yes, I want to make my family happy...but at the same time...nothing has happened with the way I've been living my life so far. No one has ever punished me, though I have been bullied. I do wish that I didn't have to be so dependent on others, so I'm guessing that this is what the therapy is mostly for. It's almost like a rehab center but less formal.

One thing I'm extremely excited for is being able to be around Eli a lot. If I'm going to be living with him, I'll get to see his handsome face everyday. I can't really complain about that. I don't know that much about him, but I want to know more. Hopefully, I'm not cuddling with some other girl's man. I would hate it if someone did that to me, so I hope Eli is a loyal boyfriend.

I glance up at Eli who is gazing out the window. I peer out to see what he's seeing, and I gasp. Eli smiles down at me as grass covered, rolling hills fly by us. I press my hands against the windows, Eli holding my waist so I don't fall off his lap. I bite my bottom lip in curiosity and excitement at the scenery outside.

"Hey baby. I know it's beautiful, but you need to sit down for me...okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

"But Eli. It's so pretty."

"How about you sit on my lap and turn your body? You'll be able to see still."

"I don't want to miss anything."

"We can always come back. We'll come together. Why don't you sit for me please, baby?"

"Okay, fine."

In a huff, I land on Eli's lap, my lip pouting out.

"Ah, ah."

He pinches the bottom of it, forcing me to stop pouting and collect myself. That was so mean, but I know he's trying to help. I don't think he would deliberately try to hurt me. Also, his father is still in the car. Eli doesn't seem like the kind of person to be mean just to be mean. I don't even think he was trying to be rude.

For the rest of the trip--about another twenty minutes--Eli and I don't talk to one another. Instead, the two of us listen to the soft songs playing on the radio. Nerves fill my body as Mr. Richard pulls into the driveway of a largish house. It's not mansion size, but it's bigger than any house that is on my street. I hear a dog barking, and I try to stand behind Eli. He places me in front of him as if he wants me to face my nervousness instead of hide from it.