MaNan: Breaking Free

40|Melancholy

Nandini's POV-

I am standing at Manik's doorstep in Delhi, glaring at the huge lock on the door. It's midday and I have a really bad headache from the flight and the horrible traffic afterwards. I haven't been able to stop thinking about last night's revelations even for a minute.
After quickly filling Jenny in about everything we had discovered, I had taken the first flight I could find and flown here. I didn't tell Jenny or Pathak uncle that I had actually witnessed the murder. Jenny would be heartbroken if she found out I had to experience something so gory at such a young age.

All my life, Jenny has tried to protect me from every possible danger. She has dedicated her own life to making me happy. She would be devastated if I told her about everything I had to endure at the hands of Singhania and my dear mother. She would blame herself for their wrongdoings. I didn't want that.

So, I hadn't told Jenny that Singhania used to molest me. I hadn't told her that I had seen someone being killed, either.

Witnessing the murder had taken a massive toll on me. I had stopped talking, eating and fell terribly sick. For many days that followed, I hadn't been able to get the nauseating smell of blood out of my system, or the memory of a pair of eyes staring at me with emotion one instant, and going completely blank the next. The look on that man's face when he realized what had happened, a split second before he died, had haunted me for a very long time. Jenny knew something horrible had happened to me. She asked me about it again and again. I never told her anything because a few days after the incident, Nyonika and Singhania had cornered me and terrified me out of my wits. They told me that I couldn't tell anyone what I had seen. If I did, they would kill me and Jenny as well. I was too frightened to do anything. I was not able to sleep or think.

When Jenny realized that I wasn't going to talk, she wanted to take me to a therapist. But Nyonika and Singhania made sure that didn't happen. They were scared that I might tell the therapist what I had seen. They didn't let me get the help I needed to overcome the trauma. They just left me to suffer. As long as I didn't open my mouth, they were not going to bother thinking about me.
What followed was the nastiest fight I had ever seen, with Jenny on one side and Nyonika and Singhania on the other. Jenny was dead set on getting a therapist for me, so much so, that she had even threatened to call child services on Nyonika and Singhania. In the end, Singhania had brutally grabbed her by the neck and reminded her just who he was. He told her that it wouldn't be a big deal for him to handle the child services people, if she called them. And after dealing with them, he would deal with her. He would make sure she never saw me again.

That is the only time I have seen Jenny breaking down. She knew she couldn't go up against Singhania or Nyonika. Or Singhania would deliver on his promise and separate the two of us. In the end, she had conceded.

But not once had Jenny stopped trying to help me. After that whole episode, she became even more attentive and never once left me alone. It was only because of Jenny's constant efforts that I was able to survive. She pulled me out of my head and tried to make me feel as happy and safe as she could.

Even now, after all these years, she was ready to overlook everything else for my happiness.

She was ready to overlook the fact that Manik had been lying to us, if he could make me happy.

"Don't be too hard on him, beta." She had told me as I hugged her before leaving for the airport. "He cares about you, I know he does." There was more hope and faith on Jenny's old, wrinkled face than I could dare to feel right then. I had kissed her forehead and sent up a silent prayer to the universe. Please protect her faith.

Now, as I look at Manik's locked door, I feel as though the same universe is playing a cruel trick on me. Giving the house one last look, I turn around and hail a rickshaw, all set to go to Abhimanyu's house next.