Fleeting Moments

Chapter 20: Husband

#HHFM Chapter 20:

Husband

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"You okay?"

Ryo shifted his gaze at me, at sa liwanag ng ilaw nila, halatang-halata ko ang pagkaputla niya. He kept on assuring me earlier that he was fine even if I wasn't asking, pero nang tinanong ko na siya, he couldn't answer. Kagagaling niya lang sa ibaba para sabihan sina Tita na aalis na kami mamayang gabi.

Hindi papayag si Tatay na wala kami roon agad kinabukasan. If we couldn't get there at most by midnight tonight, I was a hundred percent sure that my parents would be here by tomorrow afternoon. At sigurado akong galit na galit na si Tatay noon dahil sila pa ang dumayo rito. Bukod sa ayaw kong dito gumawa ng eksena sa bahay nina Tita dahil nakahihiya, Tatay's too old to get too mad.

He averted his gaze before nodding, na mukhang hindi naman bukal sa loob niya.

Raiko was on the bed, sleeping. Mabuti nga't nakatulog dahil kailangan kong mag-ayos ng gamit. I couldn't trust Ryo in preparing our luggage. He was too distracted, baka maraming makalimutan.

Mahina siyang napatawa kaya napalingon ulit ako sa kaniya. His finger was lightly tracing Raiko's hair. "Kinakabahan ako. Hindi ako prepared," he admitted.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin sa kaniya. I couldn't just tell him that it would be easy because we were both sure that it wouldn't be. Sa kasutilan ko rin kasi na ayaw kong umuwi noong buntis ako, lalo lang maba-bad shot kay Tatay si Ryo. Baka isipin niya e sinadya ni Ryo na itago sa kaniya. When in reality, it was my choice to keep my pregnancy private. I remembered Tita urging me to tell them pero hindi ako sumunod. Besides, Ryo and I weren't really in good terms during those days.

At one point, I kind of understand my father's anger. Nag-iisa akong anak e. After graduating high school, halos ayaw pa akong pakawalan ni Tatay dahil baka raw mapaano ako kung malalayo sa kanila. I promised them that I would do good while I was away.

Kahit na hindi naman talaga, ang tingin niya kay Ryo e kaaway talaga. Na baka raw binilog lang ang utak ko para iwan din sa dulo. Katuwaan, palipasan. Knowing that we broke up, at kahit ano'ng paliwanag ko na mutual choice namin iyon, lalo lang nasira ang image ni Ryo sa kaniya. Tapos, ito, may Raiko pa. Iba pa naman ang imagination ni Tatay. Baka isiping sinadya akong buntisin o ano.

"Maaga na raw tayong mag-dinner sabi ni Mommy. Magpapaakyat na ba 'ko ng pagkain?"

"Ikaw bahala."

Hindi ako makaramdam ng gutom. If I knew that we were to go home tonight, sana bumawi ako ng tulog. This would be my first time traveling with Raiko, at hindi ako sigurado kung ano ba ang dapat at hindi dapat gawin. Baka pagdating sa amin, bagsak na lang ako sa kama sa sobrang pagod.

I was done packing my things and Ryo's, but I was nowhere near done with Raiko's. Pakiramdam ko, may makalilimutan akong importante. I'm sure we could just do stopovers in case we need something, but doing that means more time on the road. Mainipin si Tatay. Kapag natagalan kami, magigisa si Ryo lalo. I honestly have no idea on what to do anymore.

I heard him sigh. Nanahimik na siya pagkatapos. I wanted to tell him to get some sleep, but I think that would be useless. He'd be too nervous to put himself to sleep. Mabuti pa si Raiko, ang sarap ng tulog.

I wasn't sure on how much time had passed. I was rechecking Raiko's essentials and texting Nanay when I felt Ryo creeping behind me. "Tama na 'yan. Okay na 'yan. Bumili na lang tayo kung may nakalimutan ka."

I paused. One of his arms snaked around my waist. Ramdam ko ang kabog ng dibdib niya sa lapit niya sa akin, or maybe it was my own jitters because of two things: him meeting my father and our lack of distance.