Imagine inspired by ''you broke me first" by Tate McRae
It was hard to go a day without thinking about her, to go a day without talking to her. It was even harder knowing that there was a risk she'd never talk to him ever again because he had a thing for fucking things up. Jeffrey Dean Morgan fucked up big time.
As he sat on his brown leather chair with a glass of whiskey in his hand he went back to that night he made love to Maia, the love of his life. His lips curled into a smile as he thought of how good her skin smelled and how fragile and soft she was. Her voice whispering his name into his ear as they made loved repeated itself inside his brain over and over again, making him feel like he was going insane.
Jeffrey's smile disappeared as soon as he remembered what happened after that. How he broke her heart by telling her he wasn't for her, when they were actually made for each other. They had so many things in common, understood each other, had always something to talk about, enjoyed the same food. He knew Maia was his soulmate yet he told her the opposite, that they weren't made to be together. She went home and cried herself to sleep that night and many more nights after.
Maia was head over heels in love with him, loved him, adored to spend time with him. When he told her he wasn't for her because of the life he lived, it only made her feel used. She felt like Jeffrey only wanted to get her in his bed and then get rid of her. He kept bullshitting how his life got in the way, how being away often would be a problem for them; not for her though, she was understanding of his work life. She was okay with the fact that he was an actor, that he didn't have as much privacy as others and so on. It was him who got it all wrong. Or maybe he was just scared shitless of committing even though he was sure she was the one.
It was hard to get over him, but she wanted to do her best. It was Saturday night and she was out with friends, drinking away the memories of him. Jeffrey had realized that she was trying to go back to normal; every time Maia posted something on Instagram he was the first to see. Now her Instagram story showed her out, smiling and looking happy, but he couldn't take it. So that night, after contemplating, wondering, planning, he finally decided to do something about it. He had to get the love of his life back and he was ready to do anything for it.
He called six times before she finally answered her phone. ''Hello?'' she sounded tipsy.
''It's me''.
''Oh...''
''Yeah, sorry to disappoint. Listen, I need to talk to you" his heart beat fast as he hoped for a positive answer.
"Jeffrey, I don't. I'm busy and I don't think there's anything left to talk about" his hopeful heart from a second ago broke into pieces.
"But can you please at least read my text if I text you?" he had to insist.
"Jeffrey I have to go" her voice was slurry and low. Half of her wanted to hear what he had to say but half of her didn't; it was hard trusting someone who hurt her.
"I miss you, baby".
"You won't fool me twice" she answered before "Maia, babe, come on" was heard from a man in the background. "I have to go. I hope you find happiness. Goodbye, Jeffrey".
"Who's that? Maia, don't hang up. Please, baby, you have to listen to me" tears filled Jeffrey's eyes as he listened to silence. Maia was gone and it was all his fault. She even seemed to be with someone else. Oh, to be an idiot...
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"God fucking damn it" he whispered to himself as he punched the table in front of him. He didn't know what to do. He felt lost and desperate and in love, but the girl he loved was ready to get over him.
Deciding to go sit in his car in front of Maia's house, he waited three hours before she got home. She held hands with a man and looked happy, her laughter filling in the silence of the empty street. Jeffrey's blood started boiling as he followed the movements of the guy's hand, moving from her hip to her butt.
Getting out of the car, the actor's fists were ready to fight, but then he and Maia made eye contact and in that moment he realized how broken she actually was. ''Baby'' he whispered as his eyes filled up with salty tears.
Maia shook her head and dragged the man next to her towards the house, ready to go in. She didn't want to talk to Jeffrey. ''Maia, can we please talk?'' Jeffrey's voice broke more and more with every word.
''Is that...holy shit, is that the guy in The Walking Dead?'' the man asked.
''Just go inside, William, I'll be right with you'' Maia didn't seem to have any strength to deal with any of that, but she had to. ''What do you want, Jeffrey?''.
Jeffrey took rapid steps towards her and grabbed her hands; her warm, soft hands he loved placing kisses on. ''I made a big mistake and I need you to forgive me for everything. I want you back so much you have no idea''.
''You want me back in your bed, huh?'' her eyes were teary and her heart still broken.
''No, it's not like that. I was a coward, what you think of me is not the truth. It wasn't my intention only to...you know'' he looked down at his feet and then at her, his eyes showing how much he regretted hurting her so much.
Maia took a step closer to him before placing her hand on his warm cheek. ''I love you and I will love you for a long time before it stops, but it's hard to trust you and I don't know if I can deal with that right now. I'm sorry, Jeffrey, but you have to let this go. We both do. Maybe we'll see each other again in the future and you never know what'll happen, but for now I want you to let me, us, go'' she kissed his cheek, looked at him one last time and left without another word.
Jeffrey? Jeffrey was a mess standing in the dark in the middle of the street, cold droplets of rain resting on his face, mixing with his tears. She was gone.
*
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