Irondad and Spiderson One Shots- B2

Make me feel alive

A/N- Let me bless you with this song and music video because OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

T.W- Depression 

Summary- All Peter wants to do is to feel alive, to not just be breathing, but to really be alive. (I smell Parley)

-Harley's P.O.V- 

I frowned as Peter laid unmoving, his head on my chest as his eyes seemed to be glazed over and staring into the distance with a solemn face. 

Recently i've noticed how different he seems, I can't remember the last time I saw a genuine smile on his face, or him to laugh and for me to think he meant it. He thinks I don't notice these things, but when you have always loved something that much- that being Peters laughs and smiles- I knew when it all stopped. 

I thought, maybe he was having an off day, and decided to let it pass; it would come back right?

But it didn't, it only seemed to get worse. 

I run my hand through his hair, still not gaining any movement or acknowledgment of him knowing what I'm doing. 

"Petey. Can I talk to you." I whisper, trying to grab his attention and to be able to talk to him. 

He didn't move again, as I look down at him with his eyes blinking every few seconds and his chest steadily rising and falling. The worry in me grew, I knew he wasn't okay, and yet I left him alone for so long thinking he might get better. 

"Peter." I say while shaking him slightly to grab his attention. 

This time his eyes move slightly and they land on me, his face is still expressionless and his eyes seem lifeless. 

He hums in acknowledgement, confusion in his eyes. 

"Petey, if I ask you a question. Will you answer it truthfully?" I ask, my voice soft and making sure it doesn't sound angry or sad. 

He seems to think before a moment before hesitantly nodding, obviously wanting to know what I want to ask. 

I take a steadying breath, trying to keep my emotions in check to make sure i'm strong for him. 

"Are you okay? I know somethings wrong, and I want to be able to help you." I admit, not wanting to beat around the bush but also not wanting to push too hard. 

His breath hitches slightly and he looks away, his hold on my waist tightening slightly as his eyes squeeze shut. 

"Please don't hate me." He whispers, I can feel tears soaking my shirt, but don't try to move him away in the slightest. 

My eyes widen a little at what he said, feeling shocked that he would ever think that I could hate him. 

"I could never hate you bubs, never." I reassure him.   

"I don't like it Harls. I feel- I feel like everything is wrong. Like I don't belong anymore, that people would be so much better without me. All I seem to do is cause trouble, you know how much some people hate Spiderman, and Peter Parker as well. I barely feel anything anymore, every day is the same. I just feel numb. But I want to feel. I want to be happy when I'm with you because you make me happy, but my mind won't let me. All I can think about is that fact that you deserve better. And I know you do." Peter admits, his voice trembling as more tears fall down his face. 

I tighten my grip on him and place kisses all over his head, trying to reassure him that i'm not going anywhere, and I guess trying to reassure myself that he's still here. 

"I know it might not be okay right now, or tomorrow, or next week. But I promise in time it will get better, i'll always be here beside you to pick you back up when you fall.  And the people that don't like you or Spiderman, they don't need to, if everyone liked you it would be boring. Not everyone likes me, but what's important is the people that you like, like you as well. I will be here every time you need me. I promise. I love you Petey, I always have and always will." I state. 

He buries his head into my chest even more and whispers, "I love you too Harls."

I know it'll take time. And he won't be okay straight away, but i'm willing to help him through it all, forever. 

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A/N- ...

-M xx