she

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a/n hi there friends :)

It's been a long time hasn't it... I'm sorry about that. I'm a full time student trying to pay rent, so my days have become a little hectic recently. Nevertheless, I'm here with a new chapter! And this one's SUPER long to make up for my radio silence <3

27.
HARRY'S POV


I wake up alone. In an apartment that doesn't feel like home. With a suitcase full of dirty clothes laying open on the floor.

I'm surprised I slept at all. I turn my head to look at the clock. It's unplugged, so I reach for my phone and tap it awake. The brightness of the screen is a little blinding, but my eyes adjust to read the time. 5:30.

Outside it's dark, but there's still noise below. I slowly sit up and rub my eyes, pushing my hair out of my face.

If it hadn't been for our conversation yesterday, her words still ringing in my ears, I might have regretted flying out here. But she did want me here. She missed me. And I missed the way it felt to be wanted by her. When she took out Cherry and trained it on me, the feeling came back. So intensely that even now, hours later after sleeping, I still feel butterflies. I'm an addict. I need another fix.

But I can't call her. No, she has to call me, lead me, draw me in. She needs to be the one to initiate because then I'll know that she actually wants it. That she actually wants me. I would give anything for her to hold my face tenderly in her hands and kiss me.

I stand up off my bed and wander aimlessly into the body of my apartment, flicking on the espresso machine and reaching for the tall, glass jar of coffee sitting next to it. As the water boils, I scoop the grounds out and pour them in. Then I lean back against the counter and stare as the dark liquid drains out into the cup beneath. One, two, three shots of espresso. It seems to be the only amount of caffeine these days to keep me going. I wish I could just go back to bed, but I know laying there trying to fall asleep again will only be worse.

I turn off the machine and take the cup in my hands, wandering to the big window behind the couch and sitting down in front of it, staring out at the darkened city. I softly hum the melody to a song I've been quietly building in my head all week. The music came easily, the words I'm struggling with. As usual.

I sit in front of the window, sipping my coffee and watching the sunrise for a long while.

It isn't until the sun has risen up above the buildings, and it's shining on my face, that my phone rings. I reach down for it and accept the call.

"Hello?"

"It dropped."

I shoot up from my spot and run to my laptop laying on the couch. "What?!"

She giggles a little. I flip open the laptop and a browser. "Go to YouTube."

"Okay," I press my phone between my shoulder and ear, typing away and pulling up the YouTube homepage. "Oh, holy fuck."

"What?" she asks innocently. I stare at the thumbnail, the first recommended thumbnail on my homepage. The thumbnail for a video that was released five minutes ago.

"Holy fuck, Quinn."

"Do you see it? I didn't even tell you what to search yet."

"Is it what I think it is?"

"The Carters' music video? Yeah."

"Holy fuck, Quinn," I breathe, staring at the thumbnail, frozen in time. I can't click on it, but I can't look away. Beyonce. Fucking Beyonce. How, how the fuck? "How?"

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