When You LOVED Me...

23.

*Unedited*

"So?"

"Are you gonna tell me what is bothering you?" Aaron asked after a palpable pause.

I straightened my posture and pretended to be busy looking into the fridge.

"I was just thinking, how will I resume my job?" I took out curd from the refrigerator and answered looking back at him. I kept my gaze on him. We never talk about serious issues but this was my life. I need to know what was going to happen.

"You can't resume it for a year." He replied. in a dismissive manner.

"I will lose my job, then. It can't wait a year, I am new and I certainly can't vanish for a year." I muttered.

"Don't worry, now you said it, I will certainly try to look into the matter." He assured and added, "But you are stuck with me, at least for a year."

"Do we have to fly to NY too?"

"Why so many questions, wife," he smirked, "Maybe, I was on a break, which didn't have to last long."

"I was on a vacation too," I mumbled under my breath.

~

We finished dinner a little after the evening. Today, Aaron called me wife, more times than I could count, and every time, it made my heart go wild.
I didn't point out him because then it will lead to another discussion, I couldn't partake.

I step out of the mansion, the mansion was on the outskirts of the city, surrounded by can copy of trees and gardens. It was summer so daytime was rather slightly hot, but the night breeze was cool and soothing. The lights of the city can be seen not so far away.

I tailed my way slowly to the gardens and sat on the bench, marveling at the beautiful grass and trees around me. Moonlight poured on me, calming my nerves.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. What am I doing? When you agree to marry a stranger, and that stranger comes out to be the sweetest gentleman in the world, what you were supposed to do?

Fell in love with him.

I shivered at the thought. Love was such a strange word. I had always open to the thought of arrange marriage. First, I had known that my family won't allow love or intercaste marriage. And just like a good daughter I was, I had accepted my fate from the start. And, second, I didn't found myself worthy of love, that fairytales kind of love.

I had always known it has to be arranged and then I would learn to live with whoever might that person be. We would come to understanding with each other. Of course, I was never sure, but I was open to adjustment, understanding, and sacrifice types of ideas.

No one can deny there was always an excitement in the unknown, no matter how hard that situation was for you.

It was the same for me. I hated the idea of being fake in social gatherings or perfect daughter-in-law or ideal wife.
The idea of having a life partner was never despicable.

And, when I married, all the plans I had for my life, was in the drain.

Should I want this? Can't I make something of this one year? If I was tied down with a stranger by some fucking contract, would I want him to remain a stranger after the end of it?

Especially when the stranger was Aaron. The Aaron Rathore. He was everything I could ever dream of or more.

His eyes always held a sincerity, a calmness, his voice was like a soothing breeze, his presence can bring back peace to my mind, my soul.

Is it only attraction? Is it only me? Would I never walk out of these insecurities and make decisions for myself? How hard it can be, to risk everything?

It's not like you had any life before.

Yes, to a certain extent, it's true. I had always limited my activities due to my social anxiety. And always excused my behavior in the name of studies. Well, when you are not social, the least you can do was study.

It's not like I have some secrets. I just don't like when people judge me for the smallest of things. When I couldn't match the expectations of. Would I ever match the expectations of Aaron?

Not in this birth, Mia.

Maybe, but at least I can try. What would I possibly lose? Love or not, after a year we will divorce each other. Then, what better life I will going to live, with a divorcee tag. Forget about marrying someone again. Am I oblivious to the fact, how Indian society treats divorcee women?

Of course, not.

If this would have a normal arranged marriage, wouldn't I have tried, to form an understanding between each other?

Is it wrong of me, to want him? Is it wrong of me, to want to be more than just a stranger to him?

Even if he will reject me, which of course he would, isn't he was worth it. All of it.

Worth a step, Mia.

*****