𝒅 𝒊 𝒇 𝒇 𝒆 𝒓 𝒆 𝒏 𝒕 | 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚏𝚘𝚢 | ✔

52

" 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉 "

Harry pointed out his wand yelling 'Expelliarmus!' Sirius laughed proudly as he fended off a different death eater who was shooting spells. 'Nice one James' I felt a quick twang at my heart for my brother who had just been called our father. Sirius' best friend. I grinned as the last death eater was pushed back 'advada kedavra' I heard in my left ear. My whole world slowed down for a second as I saw who had cast the spell and who it was for. I looked back at Sirius my eyes full with tears. 'i love you munch' a smile still plastered on his face as he fell back into the mist. Harry's screams filled the room as he tried to go after Sirius, Remus was holding him back. Sobs choked up in my throat I felt as if I was ready to be sick. 'Padfoot' I whimpered holding my hand near the mist. 'y/n don't.' Tonks hand caught mine before I followed Sirius through. He was gone.

'Hey, y/n' I turned back to look at Sirius, 'How was meeting Malfoy today, all good?' I nodded giggling a little, 'you sitting?' I asked my voice hoarse from the talking I had done all day with my boyfriend. He perched next to me pulling me into a side hug. 'We were thinking, one day when we have kids' Sirius coughed 'Kids isn't it a bit early' I laughed and prodded his side 'Listen' I went on. 'If we have kids when we're older, we'll take them to that little park and well Draco had the idea that we could bring them to their godfathers for dinner ' Sirius'  eyes lit up,'You mean-' I nodded and he pulled me in tighter 'I like that plan. I like that plan a lot. It's a good idea for the future' I nodded and we stayed sat like this for the next half and hour just watching the fire crackle.

Now there would be dinner, no meeting the godfather and hell if I could even visit that damned park again. I initially I felt heartbreak and I was certain I would feel that all over again but right now, right now was anger. A lot of it. My hair had already gone black. I growled and chased after Bellatrix. 'I killed Sirius Black' She sung giggling manically. 'Advada-' I started but my wand spun out of my hand. 'Crucio!' Harry yelled making her fall in pain. 'Dickhead' I muttered running to my wand. I held it to her throat 'y/n don't kill her. Let her rot in Azkaban' I looked at him in shock. 'What so she can break out again. She killed him Harry' My breaths were short and heavy. 'SHE KILLED HIM' I screamed tears threatening my eyes. 'You know the spell' Voldemorts cold voice whispered in my ear and I assumed from Harry's face he heard it too.

Bella was whimpering now, her bottom lip quavering but I knew the truth, it was an act and she just didn't want to die. I looked back at Harry a stern look on my face. 'She killed the only person that believed in me when everyone didn't' I took in a shaky breath. 'So if killing her is wrong, I don't care. She took him and I can never get him back' I looked back at the woman, teas brimming in my eyes. 'advada ked-' I was knocked back by Dumbledore apparating in. Bellatrix skidded back into one of the chimneys disappearing in green flames. 'NO!' I screeched. But it was too late, she had gotten away, she didn't have to cower, she was gone and with no punishment. I let the tears fall, he was gone and Harry didn't even let me give him vengeance.

I was holding my knees in rocking back and forth, I was quite clearly having a panic attack, I didn't care about Voldemort and Dumbledore's fight, nor did I care about the cuts all over me from Umbridge, nor the pain from the cruciatus curse I had experienced today, none of that even compared to he heart break I had from losing him, it felt as if I had lost a part of myself. A limb. My vision was blurred but I knew I had to breathe, I had to find out what was going on. I starting counting slowly before my breathing had slowed and my mind wasn't racing.

I stood walking over to Harry who was fighting Voldemort in his head, I head a horrible feeling in my stomach that I was next and oh how right I was. When he had decided Harry was not trusting of him, he entered my head. I screamed dropping to the floor memories flashed by, Cedric falling to the ground, my argument with Draco the night of the yule ball, my friends holding back Harry's friends, Harry and I's fight, my mother dying and then the last memory the most raw one I had, Sirius disappearing.

'y/n all you have is to join my side' In a way he was right, switching sides would give me Draco, it would mean I could be with him and we could be miserable but we would be miserable together. Sirius was gone and I knew Draco was now going to be forced into this life and I didn't want to be without the boy so in a way he was right. I opened my mouth but I caught a glimpse of Pansy and the happy memories came flooding in. My snowball fight with Pansy, Draco hugging me in the rain after my fight with Harry, Cedric and I water fighting, laughing with the twins about something stupid them, Mrs Weasley reassuring me I was a fighter, Draco and I on the swings at the park, our first kiss. And Sirius, just him smiling at me. 

I huffed sobbing hard, letting out every emotion, 'maybe one day' My body lurched up for a second, 'But not today' I decided finally. Voldemort breathed really close to my face 'I will have you y/n Potter' I gulped as he dispersed and I lay completely still letting ever single bit of pain overwhelm me. Pansy fell to her knees beside me but I didn't want her. I wanted Sirius but he wasn't here to tell me everything was fine and neither was Draco. I needed him right now. I thought to the weekend when he said he loved me. I loved him back endlessly but I don't know if I could forgive him for leaving me in this situation alone. Would he always leave me alone when it came to his father. Every part of me ached for him for someone who could hold me tight and tell me it was okay, someone I would believe but for me both of those people were gone. Right in this moment, surrounded by people and questions. I was alone.

end of order of the phoenix