𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 & 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 | draco malfoy [7]

𝐗. FORGIVENESS

CHAPTER TEN
FORGIVENESS

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The room was exactly the same as it had been all those years ago when I came to the manor for the Christmas party. I was surprised none of the Death Eaters that had started living here had moved into it. This was still the same old room eleven year old me stayed in.

"I didn't let anyone move in," a voice said quietly from the doorway, but loud enough for me to turn and see Draco standing there. "It's just... it's your room. I think I hoped that under different circumstances, you might've come back and stayed in it again."

I said nothing and turned away, sinking down onto the window seat and staring out at the front gardens of the Malfoy Manor. Subconsciously, I gripped my left forearm with my right hand, trying to ease the aching that was coming from my arm.

Draco walked over and stood next to me, but I still didn't look up at him. I couldn't. I was afraid that if I looked at anything or anyone that made me feel anything I would break down into tears and I couldn't afford that right now.

But Draco, like always, was a stubborn prick.

"Why'd you do it?" He asked. No beating around the bush, straight to the point, just as we'd always done with each other. He sank into the seat next to me, and I finally looked up at him.

However, I didn't find in his eyes what I suspected I would, which was disappointment. I found guilt and regret and pity. Which I did not want.

"Don't look at me like that," I said lowly. "Nor do I need or want your pity."

Draco wasn't fazed by my hostile tone. "Why'd you do it?" He asked again.'

"Because if I didn't, he was going to kill me!" I exclaimed.

"I'm not talking about just the Mark. I'm talking about it all. Why'd you come here in the first place? And don't give me that feeling shit, what made you come here?" He asked firmly. I glared at his grey eyes before sighing, giving in.

I bit my lip and looked out the window again, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I was at a... place. A safe house, of sorts, with Harry, Hermione, and Ron. We had a plan, but they didn't want me in on it because they were afraid I'd turn evil and kill them all, or something. So, they left, and I was waiting for them to come back."

Draco was glaring at me, but I knew the glare was for my brother and his friends, not me. 

"And, they did. But they brought Yaxley with them. They showed up at the door, dropped him off, and apparated away. They left me."

My voice broke on the last word, and Draco didn't hesitate to scoot closer and wrap his arms around me. I dropped my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close.

I missed this. I missed him.

With the comfort of Draco's whispering, I let myself go, and felt the tears make their way down my face and onto Draco's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind. Eventually, I pulled myself together and sat back from his grasp, but still close.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. I just wiped my eyes and shrugged.

"Happens."

He rolled his eyes, but reached his hand into his pocket. "I, uh, I didn't know if I'd see you again. Or if you'd even want these if I did see you, but..."

My heart stopped as he held out two silver rings, identical to the promise ones that we'd both ripped off our hands and that I'd melted. I took the silver and green ring that had Serpent Girl engraved on the inside and slid it on my finger.

When I looked back up at Draco, he didn't waste any time as he leant down and kissed me quickly. And I didn't waste any time kissing him back.

"It's been too long since we've done that," Draco smirked as he pulled away.

I laughed for the first time in a while.

The next few weeks were rough. It wasn't that I couldn't exactly handle the jobs the Dark Lord was giving me, in fact, I handled them better than any of the veteran Death Eaters I was paired with.

"Merlin's beard, Yaxley, how were you ever going to capture me if you can't even use a knife?" I scowled and yanked the knife from Yaxely's hand, marching over to Ollivander. "Where's the wand?"

"Miss Potter, please," he said helplessly, "I already said I don't know."

Luckily, I was able to keep my wincing under control as I slashed the knife across Ollivander's cheek. I hated it. I hated every part of it. Ollivander had been the nicest to me when I was younger, and now I'm doing this to him.

I wanted to apologize. But I couldn't, not with Yaxley behind me. So, instead, I looked at the old wandmaker and hoped he saw my regret in my eyes.

The hard part about all of this was hiding things. I had to do the jobs I was given with no remorse and save the tears and guilt for the late hours of the night alone in my bedroom.

I had to ignore the awful ink on my arm and pretend that I didn't feel like sobbing every time I looked down and could no longer see the lightning bolt scar.

And, worst of all, I had to pretend, for my own sake, like the hole in my chest wasn't growing wider each time I thought about Harry and how much I missed him.

I couldn't express that, though, not even to Draco. Draco hated him before, and hated him even more after I told him about Harry leaving me. Bloody hell, I should hate him. But I can't.

Which led to dangerous thoughts. It led to me wondering what Harry would say or do when he saw the ink on my arm or hear of the crimes I've committed. I wanted him back, yes.

But would he want me?

I was pulled from my thoughts by a small knock on the door before Draco entered, his hair messed up and his eyes tired.

"Torture?" I asked quietly. 

He nodded and sat on my bed next to me, a faraway look in his eyes. I knew he hated torturing people even more than I did. And I knew he'd never kill. That made him a far better person than I.

We sat in silence for a little, both lost in our own thoughts, before Draco broke the quiet.

"Do you think anything we'd ever do in the future could ever redeem us for what we're doing now?"

I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to raise his spirits. I wanted to lie and say yes, but I couldn't when all I could think about was the killing, torturing, lying, and more that I've done.

"No," I whispered, afraid that if I spoke any louder, my voice would betray me. "No, I don't think we deserve forgiveness, Draco."

He was quiet for a few more moments before answering. "Well," he began, "I've got your forgiveness. And, really, I think that's all I need."

I closed my eyes and felt a tear slip down my face before I leaned onto him, my arms around his waist and my head tucked into where his shoulder and neck met.

"Do I have your forgiveness?" I asked.

"Of course."

"Thanks, Snake Boy."

"Anytime, Serpent Girl."