19 | Primetime

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"When you're down, and it's hard
And you feel like you've given your all
Baby our love will always keep it real and true
'Cause baby it's a primetime for our love
Ain't nobody peekin' but the stars above
It's a primetime for our love
And heaven is betting on us"
- Janelle Monae

"When you're down, and it's hard And you feel like you've given your all Baby our love will always keep it real and true 'Cause baby it's a primetime for our love Ain't nobody peekin' but the stars above It's a primetime for our love And heaven is...

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"I'm so nervous." I mumbled while laying my head on Aimee's shoulder. We have everyone over to view this commercial that we haven't even told them the details on. 

Gabe's publicist approached us about being apart of this PSA commercial as a way to address what happened a few months back with Lisa on social media without directly addressing it. Gabe's lawyer did his thing in court and Lisa is damn near locked into a lifetime payment plan. The only way she'll come out her neck at either of us again on social media is if she wants to go to jail. We gave the situation some time to cool off and now we're coming out with this commercial for National Infertility Awareness Week.

I didn't want to do it at first because it would mean me exposing myself to the world. Then after taking some time to think about it I decided that I would do it. At the end of the day I don't know who my story might inspire or how many other people are out there going through similar experiences that they aren't comfortable with speaking on. It was hard enough filming the commercial, but now that it's about to air on national television I'm even more nervous. This commercial even has ad space on Youtube and Hulu.

"It's going to be fine, Brynn. Even though I don't know what it's about, I know you and I know Gabe. I'm surprised he got you to agree to sit on a set in front of a camera, but that just shows me this has to mean a lot to you."

"Let me just prepare everyone now." Gabe started while standing up and moving to beside the TV. "This commercial is going to shed light on some information that we haven't really let anyone know about. It's a sensitive topic for both of us, and y'all know how private we are but this is something important that we want to bring awareness to." He looked over at me and I gave him a small smile.

"If one of y'all dying just say that." Noel joked making us laugh. Everyone settled down as soon as Gabe and I appeared on the screen. We stood in front of a white board using number magnets to hang up ultrasound pictures. I closed my eyes, already feeling myself tearing up. This will most likely be the first and last time I watch this commercial. it's too personal for me.

"Eleven is often viewed as a lucky number. For me it's when I finally stopped trying. During the first six years of our marriage we suffered eleven miscarriages. One of the toughest things I had to do was finally open up to my husband and tell him the actual number. For so long I felt so ashamed at the fact that I couldn't carry our child, our children. I often played the miscarriages off as a heavy period so I wouldn't hurt my husband. For National Infertility Awareness Week I want to speak to those who are going through their own fertility struggles. I want you to know that you aren't alone, and you shouldn't feel ashamed or less than." I opened my eyes back, watching as Gabe walked up to the white board and pinned another ultrasound picture.

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