Shadows || A Severus Snape Fanfiction

Chapter 32 - The Headmaster's Request

The last time Asha had found herself facing this particular door, she had given it no thought what so ever. She had practically kicked it down. This time, however, she was going for a slightly more courteous approach. She took a moment to steel herself before tapping the Griffin knocker three times and waiting for an invitation to enter.

"Come in," called a soft, warm voice.

Professor Dumbledore was standing next to the only large window in his office, thoughtfully gazing out across the snowy grounds. Just seeing the bearded, brightly dressed man stirred feelings of anger and nausea inside Asha. As she gently closed the door behind her, Dumbledore turned to face her, looking serene as ever.

"Good Evening, Asha," he said with a gentle smile.

"Good Evening, -" Asha's tongue toyed with the 's' of 'sir' but she stopped short. She had sworn she was going to be civil but it was almost as if an unknown force had clamped her throat shut. After what the headmaster's involvement in her life had come to, they were surely well past the need for meaningless formalities.

Most people wouldn't have noticed Asha's last-second change of heart. But Dumbledore wasn't most people. With his hands passively behind his back, he tilted his head down slightly to give her a keen, knowing look over his half-moon spectacles. Asha's heart thumped a little harder.

"Yes, I quite agree that we have far surpassed the need for you to call me sir," Dumbledore stated matter-of-factly. Asha stared at him. "...or Headmaster, or Professor," he continued with a sad smile. He beckoned for Asha to come further into the room and make herself comfortable. "You see, I've been thinking of you a lot of recent, as is only natural given the circumstances." He sighed and turned back to the window. Asha approached him, coming to a halt in the centre of the room where two armchairs were arranged about a small circular coffee table. She didn't sit.

"Something I believe is important for every young person to develop here at Hogwarts is a sense of identity," said Dumbledore. He looked around at Asha, giving her a pointed look. She scoffed, raising her eyebrows at the irony of his statement. As soon as she had set a foot inside Hogwarts, Dumbledore had ripped her identity from her and ultimately led her to the position she was in now: having to pretend day in and day out that she was someone she was not.

"Quite," Dumbledore agreed grimly. "I have been thinking about how best I can help you to -"

"With all respect, Professor, I think you've done enough helping," Asha interrupted icily.

Dumbledore's eyes darkened. He simply nodded. His heart ached for both for the girl that stood before him and his own curse. Why was it that in order to help, he always had to hurt?

Figuring she may as well lay everything on the table now, Asha looked him dead in the eye and said, "I would like to take full responsibility for my own life from now on. For my safety, for my secrets, for everything. I'm not the damaged little girl you think I am. I will not go mad or run. I will finish my time at Hogwarts and keep my past and origins to myself". She forced herself to take a deep breath before stepping towards Dumbledore. "I am grateful for the protection you have given me, but I don't want it any longer. I'm now fully capable of managing myself and my situation."

Dumbledore listened patiently. He had been prepared for Asha to pull away (although perhaps not as soon as this). With her background, it was only natural that she would demand independence. Life had taught her to ultimately rely on no one but herself. He would have limited time to work on convincing her otherwise, but now was not the moment. To his relief, she was already proving to be far less hostile towards him than he had expected.

"Of course," he said simply.

For the second time that evening, Asha was caught completely off guard by Dumbledore's response. He sounded so convincingly genuine. She didn't quite know what she was expecting but it wasn't this. She kept her lips glued shut, making sure he would be the first to speak further.