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5th September 2017

"Harry, you really need to let go of her hand now." I hissed through a forced smile. On the other side of the small classroom, Nola's friends waved—all gappy-toothed and bursting with excitement. "Harry, she wants to be with her friends." 

"I can't." He pouted. "I superglued our hands together. Now we can never be parted." 

In response to my bewildered expression, he pretended to pull at our daughter's hand; wincing at the faux resistance and looking thoroughly delighted when she threw her head back and laughed so loudly; the entire room turned to look.

"Silly, Daddy!" Nola exclaimed; jumping up and down and squeaking the patent leather of her brand new shoes. I'd been excited about purchasing her first pair of school shoes, but buying them had been a tedious process; mostly because while Nola was supposed to be having her feet measured by the shop assistant—Harry had been distracting her by hanging all the children's shoes on his ears. "I want to go over there!"

Harry puffed his cheeks out and hesitated. 

"Wow, Harry." I snorted. "I'm beginning to wonder if it's you who needs to be attending reception, not Nola." 

"Yeah, well," Harry said; releasing his grip of our daughter and watching as she hurried over to the other side of the room. "I'm beginning to wonder if this was a terrible idea. Allowing her to grow up? I'm not so sure we thought this through." Looking at me out the corner of his eye—he winked. 

With Nola absorbed by the excitement of her first day of school; I grabbed one of Harry's hands and placed it against the base of my stomach. We hadn't told her yet—instead opted to wait until we'd had our first scan and could show her something physical, rather than attempt to explain to her that there was "a baby in Mummy's tummy"... something that had proved difficult given that Harry was ready to yell it from the rooftops. 

Elenore had been sworn to secrecy too—once she'd finished screaming and sobbing. She'd managed to sprain her ankle running between the bathroom and the lounge whilst screeching to the world that she just knew it. The three of us had ended up huddled together on the sofa; Harry with his head on my stomach, and me holding a an ice pack against Elenore's ankle. 

That night, I'd stayed awake until the early hours of the morning; listening to Harry tell me how excited he was that he'd get to experience it all this time round. I'd fallen asleep with his hand resting on my stomach, and when I'd woken up—it hadn't moved. 

"Just think," I smiled. "In a few years, we're going to have to do this all over again." 

Harry lightly squeezed the front of my jumper and my heart fluttered. "Absolutely not. This one is being home-schooled for sure. I don't think I could handle this trauma for a second time." 

"If this is traumatic, what are you going to do when Nola brings home her first boyfriend or girlfriend?"

"Oh, no no no." Harry retorted, shaking his head. He removed his hand and moved it to rest on the small of my back instead. "She's definitely not allowed one of those." 

I turned to look at him. "I thought you were supposed to be a cool dad?" His eyes widened. 

"How could you even insinuate that I'm not cool!" He laughed. "Have you forgotten who I am?"

"I know exactly who you are," I grinned. "You're the man who keeps pretending to superglue his hand to his daughter's." 

"Unbelievable." He rolled his eyes playfully, and then suddenly stood up straight as another dad approached. He looked just as nervous as Harry.

"Your first?" He asked, gesturing with his head to the abundance of over-excited children. I squeezed Harry's arm and slipped off in the direction of our daughter. 

Everyone had started to say their farewells and it was already a fairly even split of tearful parents and tearful children. On my left, a woman struggled to detach herself from her twins who had wrapped themselves around her legs, while a man in the corner forced out a choked up goodbye to his son who was too preoccupied with a book to notice. 

I located Nola quickly—attempting to style the hair of the young girl sat on her left. She stopped what she was doing when she saw me and hurried over. "It's time for us to go now, Nola." I crouched down in front of her, unable to resist smoothing the new uniform she'd all but had a photoshoot in only an hour before. "Daddy will come over and say goodbye in a minute." 

"I'm excited." She grinned. "I'm a big girl now." 

It had become her new favourite thing to say. "You are a big girl, aren't you? But you also need to be a good girl and make sure you listen to your teacher, ok?"

"Yes, Mummy." She nodded and I pulled her in for a hug. Nola had always been fearless; somehow the prospect of starting school hadn't terrified her the way it had for me. I remembered my first day of school like it was yesterday. My mother had taken me, she'd told me that my father had been otherwise engaged. I'd never understood what that had meant until I was older—that he'd been busy doing something else. Too busy for his daughter's first day of school. I'd been terrified of all of it. Of the children I didn't know, the teacher's I'd never met, the building I'd only ever been driven past en route to nursery. But my mother hadn't been a loving or sympathetic person. She hadn't been approachable. She hadn't even hugged me goodbye. 

"I can't wait to hear all about your first day." I said into her hair. Harry and I had already agreed we would surprise her with a tea party for when she came home. We'd had a cake made that looked exactly like her school shoes, and Elenore had made a banner that read Happy First Day At School! (after we'd vetoed the first one that'd said Congratulations You Survived!). 

A large hand curled around my shoulder. "Stop hoarding the hugs, Mummy, it's my turn." Nola and I broke apart and I realised that most of the parents had already filtered out. 

Harry opened his arms and Nola latched onto him immediately. "Bye, Daddy." She said. "Look after Mummy." 

"I think Mummy is going to need to look after me!" He planted a big wet kiss on her forehead and she squirmed. "Now, go and have fun, superstar." 

Nola hurried back to her friend; all but skipping until she was in her little plastic seat. I grabbed Harry's hand and towed him towards the classroom exit; giving Nola one final wave goodbye. "I can't believe I have a child who is old enough to be in school." He muttered once the door had closed behind us. "Where did all the time go?" 

We walked across the playground, hand in hand, and giggled like school children ourselves when the lollipop lady assisted us across the road. "It's flown by." I agreed. "And it probably will again when number two is here." 

"I'm documenting everything this time." He vowed; digging for his car keys in the pocket of his beige cords. "As soon as Nola knows, I'm taking a bump photo every single day, a list of your cravings, a Pintrest board for the nursery. I want to remember it all." 

I bit my lower lip to stop it from wobbling. Damn hormones. "I can't wait." 

This time round would be different for me too. Baby number two would be a new whole experience for both of us. 

"But first of all," Harry sighed; opening the car door for me. "There is a question I have been dying to ask you all morning." 

I waited for him to walk around the car and climb into the driver's side before responding. "What question would that be?" 

He drummed his hands against the steering wheel before turning to me with a big smile on his face. "How much longer until Nola comes home?" 

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