The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 31: Scarlett

I lay on my side in the big bed staring at the blank wall and ignore my new son in the cradle next to the bed, letting the nurse tend to him instead. I can't love this child, I hate him. He is a replica of his father and nothing but a reminder of how he was conceived. I did not want this child when I was pregnant and I do not want him now. I hear the door open to the room and I turn over and pull myself up to face the monster even though every inch of me is sore. I don't want to deal with Boris's bullshit now. I don't even want to lay my eyes on him. I silently watch as Boris walks over to his son's cradle. That devil's spawn will never be mine, I decided that the minute I Found out I was pregnant. "You have gotten lucky, you've done an exceptional job." Boris says looking down into the cradle and a shiver of disgust goes through me. I am not some type of breeding machine for his own personal use. "You can raise him for all I care." I say in disgust while looking him in the eyes, I hope he takes his spawn off my hands and separate from my son. My hand relaxes a bit on the blanket I am grasping at the thought of my little boy, my little light in the storm. He is the only reason I endure this, so he is not hurt. Boris leans in close to me and I try to keep my composure as I smell his rancid breath. "A neglectful mother, no wonder why nobody wants you. You selfish little bitch." He whispers threateningly while playing with a strand of my hair tauntingly. I clench my jaw in anger, I hope he burns in hell one day. I know he will. My mind goes back to what he said to me, No one wants you. George wants me, he does. He needed me that day on the bench, he trusts me no matter what I am. He will always need and want me as a friend. "I gave you what you wanted. Leave me be." I snap at him annoyed at his games, he doesn't even know anything about my relationships, the ones he didn't destroy and cut me off from. I want to be alone, alone from him and his spawn and just with my little George so I can rest easily. "You are nothing but trash, garbage, a piece of shit on the ground. No one will ever love you, no one will ever need you." He sneers at me and I try to keep my temper in check, my knuckles are turning white by how hard I am holding onto the blanket. Like anyone would ever want him. I look back up at him and I'm filled with nothing but anger. "What more do you want?" I snap at him, Praying he doesn't see how weak and tired I am because of the devil spawns birth. "You are nothing but a waste of space, not loving your own son? You treat your bastard son with more love." I can see what he's trying to do, make me feel guilty about something that he did to me. That I have to live with the consequences for. "I could care less about that devil in the bassinet." I snap at him and I hear the crack before I feel the slap on my face. My hand flies up to my face and it sears with pain, I look back up at him, he is unbelievable. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain. "Your son will never be half as much as mine." I say and I spit in his face, he doesn't get to even speak about my baby, much less insult him. He grabs my arms and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes out of pain, they feel like they could snap in half at any second. "Do not forget that he is your son too." He whispers to me and I see carefully controlled fury in his face, his expression makes my heart beat quicker and I struggle to get out of his grip again but he just pulls me closer harshly. "You are a terrible mother, I'm glad I'm giving you what you deserve." He says before pulling me out of the bed and pushing me against the wall harshly that it hurts my back. I watch silently as he dismisses the nurse and she walks out, leaving us both alone. I can see on his face that he takes some sadistic satisfaction from this. I take a deep shaky breath before finding renewed strength in my fury, "Slap and hit me all you want but that spawn will never be mine." I tell him in disgust and I can feel his knee hit me in the stomach, I feel disoriented for a moment before coming back to my senses. I just want to go to the nursery and take comfort in my little boy. "He will always remind me of what you did." I snap at him, trying my hardest to ignore the pain in my stomach. He just laughs and throws me back onto the bed and I pull myself up, He doesn't get to take pleasure in seeing me in pain. "Wait until your cousin hears about this, a neglectful child hating whore." He says in reference to Alice. She would never understand like George would. My only friend anymore, we both understand each other. "Why do you keep me around then? I won't give you anymore children." I stand up using the help of the bedpost and draw myself up as tall as I can without hurting my stomach even more. "You," He steps closer to me and puts a hand on my waist lightly, "Don't get to decide that." He snakes a hand up my nightgown and touches the inside of my thigh and I hold back my shudder of disgust. I feel as if I could vomit right onto the floor now, "You won't get any more sons off me. I swear it." I refuse to move away or cry as I feel him pinch the inside of my thigh. I wish I could strangle him right now, "I don't need any more sons from a whore like you, you've served your purpose. I just need you to suffer, suffer because you're nothing more than a selfish Slut." He snaps and I just keep my Mouth shut. He makes me suffer plenty enough already. "You are going to suffer for all the things you've done, you think that you are always in the right. Always the victim, but you're just as bad as me my dear." He holds my face tightly and I rip it from his grasp. He gives me a disgusting sarcastic smile that looks more like a grimace before he walks out the door. I stand shaking still hanging onto the bedpost, when I turn my head I see my reflection in a mirror. I pick up a candlestick and throw it in the mirror in frustration. I feel angry on every level and exhausted. I can hear the devil child wailing but I climb into the big bed and curl up like a child before falling asleep.

The devil child is six weeks old today. He is to be christened here in Petersburg named Mikhail After the Grand Duke. I was Boris's choice, I don't know and could care less why he's honoring him so. Grand Duke Michael has always seemed, rather, unexciting to me. I follow my maid to the suite that I'm going to stay in while the christening is taking place this week. I hope Boris finds some other home to crawl back into. My sweet George sits on my hip clapping his hands happily and looking around with wide eyes at his surroundings. I nuzzle my face into his cheek, "You like the pretty palace?" I blow a raspberry into his cheek and he giggles hysterically. A bright smile comes onto my face at his sweet little laugh. I follow the maid into my room and sit down with George beside me and he lays his head in my lap tiredly though still clapping his hands on occasion. I lean down and kiss his forehead gently and I'm filled with pride at how perfect he is. I hear a noise from the other side of the room, Mikhail is gurgling unhappily as his nursemaid holds him. I study his tiny face that looks just like his father. As if I didn't have the burden of carrying him for nine months, I still wish I didn't. "Take him to the nursery." I snap at her without giving another thought to his child. As I continue to stroke my little boy's tuft of hair he falls asleep as there is a knock on the door. I carefully get up and open the door to see my friend George standing there. I look him over in shock as he holds a handkerchief, I haven't seen him since my wedding night. He looks so much skinnier and less healthy than last time. "I'm sorry to disturb you Scarlett but I didn't want to worry Alice." He coughs into his handkerchief and I see it's spattered with blood. Something about the way he says Alice's name annoys me. I shake it off and give him an arm helping him to a lounge chair where he can lay down. As George practically collapses onto it I check on my baby who is sleeping peacefully still. "When did it get worse?" I ask concerned, going into the bathroom to get a cool washcloth for his head to keep his temperature down. I speak to him as if it hasn't been months since we've spoken last. "It's Just from the journey here. I just didn't want to worry Alice more." I can hear his raspy breathing and he is clutching his chest as I come out of the water closet. I sit next to him and gently put the cool cloth on his forehead as he rests his head in my lap. I can tell he is comfortable with me and it makes me smile as I continue mopping his forehead gently. "You still have not told her?" I ask him softly, I do not want to upset him too much. Something about me being the one he trusts with this makes me feel almost glad. "I can't put that burden on her. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a hospital instead of with her." He opens his eyes momentarily again before shutting them. His comment stings me for some reason, would he mind not seeing me again? No, I'm being ridiculous, she's his wife. He shifts so I can put my legs up as he lays across my lap more comfortably. "I'm sorry to burden you my friend." He tells me and continue to mop the sweat off of his forehead as I give him an encouraging smile. "I just want to see you well George." I tell him as his eyes flutter close and he dozes off to sleep on my lap. It feels nice, knowing that he is trusting me to take care of him. I pick up "Anna Karenina" from the table next to me as I start to read it, carefully stroking George's hair still.

A few hours go by as George sleeps soundly, poor thing seems exhausted by everything. I know he won't be in pain as he sleeps though. I watch as he opens his eyes and I give him a cheerful smile, I hope I've been able to give him some sort of comfort. "How do you feel?" I ask him as he takes my hand to help himself up and off. I frown at the struggle he has in order to get to another chair where he can sit up. "I'm better but still weak." He tells me and I start to walk over to him before realizing my son is starting to wake up. I hear him start to fuss and I immediately go and pick him up, patting his little back. "Don't you feel better my love?" I smile at my son and kiss him on the tip of his nose before he rests his cheek back on my shoulder trying to wake himself up. I go and sit in the armchair across from George and put my son in my lap as he looks at George and gives him a gummy smile, he reaches out and grabs his fingers. "He is a darling baby Scarlett." George says, continuing to play with him and I swell with pride at my son. I watch my son smile, "If only I could be as happy as him." I let out a sigh, he is so pure, not knowing the hardships of life yet. I snuggle closer to my boy and he tugs on a loose piece of my hair gently. "How is the new baby?" George asks me and I wave my hand dismissively, I couldn't care less to be honest. My little George is my life. "Papa!" He gurgles as he looks at George and my heart leaps. He hasn't said a word before this! "George, did you hear that? He said a word!" I say excitedly not realizing i've grabbed onto his arm as I feel proud for my smart little baby.