God of Speed's Redemption

Chapter 15

Savitar got up to leave as they finished their dinner. He remembered Grandma Esther's recipe perfectly from Barry's memories and it was delicious. He must admit it was nice to be surrounded by people and enjoy dinner like a normal person. There was a bit of tension at first when he arrived with Barry, but they all got over it. Even Cisco who hates his guts was nice to him the whole time.

"I should go and get ready to leave," he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Thank you for the dinner and the invite," he said to everyone and nods at Barry who nodded back.

Wally looked surprised. "Wow, a thank you from you. Guess there's a first for everything."

Savitar ignored him. "Well, I guess this is goodbye."

"Where are you going exactly?" Asked Joe.

"I'm not sure yet but it'll be far away from here. Possibly Spain."

Barry perked up and walked towards him. "My mom attended a semester abroad in Spain. She loved it so much she went back there after she graduated." He inhaled. "You remember."

I furrowed my forehead suddenly remembering the time his mom told him that. It wasn't his memories—not anyway. I was a time remnant of Barry, so I do remember everything that's happened from his point of view. He lived through it.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I remember."

The room got quiet as everyone watched them.

I shook my head. "Right good talk and goodbye." He headed towards the door. He could have zipped out of there but for some reason, he felt heavy and slow like something weighing down. There was a tiny part of him that was reluctant to leave.

"Take care of yourself," Iris called out after him.

He froze for a second but he didn't turn to look at her. It was already hard enough watching her marry Barry at the wedding. He was afraid if he had looked at her, he wouldn't want to leave. She has her happy ending with Barry now. He wondered when he would get his.

He went out the door but he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to look and it was Caitlin.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked. "It's chilly outside, you should go back in."

She smiled at him. "Oh careful there Savitar, you sound like you were worried about me."

I smiled at her mockingly. "Wouldn't want that."

"I told everyone by the way about me being Killer Frost."

"So I've heard. I'm glad you did though, I'm not big on keeping secrets." He joked.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked suddenly.

I folded my arms and shrugged. "Do I have a choice?"

"I know it's in the past and all that but...Savitar do you regret not killing me when you had the chance when you kidnapped me and Cisco. You threatened to take my life; he wouldn't help you build the bazooka. Would you have done it, if Cisco didn't agree to help?"

I pushed away the hair that was hovering above my eye. I thought of saying something snarky or sarcastic to her. Instead, I said, "No. I wouldn't have hurt you, Caitlin. Those were just empty threats. I could never hurt you."

She wrinkled her nose and her eyes bore into his. The corners of her mouth lifted and she gave him a knowing smile. "Told you you could be saved. There is still humanity left in you. You just have to be willing to accept it."

She looked towards the house. "It must have been hard, saying goodbye especially to Iris."

He looked down at the ground. "No, it wasn't."

She gave him a look. "It's okay you don't have to keep pretending like you don't care. Because I know you do. Tonight reminded you what it was like to have a family and friends. It was nice of Barry to invite you."

When he was quiet, she heaved a sigh. "I should go back to the house but um, I'm glad you have a chance to start over, don't waste it alright? I hope you'll find some friends, and who knows, find someone."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I don't think anyone would want to be with me with this face." He pointed at his scars. "And I don't need anyone." He dropped his hand back down.

Caitlin just shook her head slowly as if she was done with him. "I told you this before and I'll tell you again, it's not good to be alone. When Ronnie.." she chewed her lip nervously suddenly thinking of her dead fiancé. "When I lost Ronnie, and I lost him twice, I thought that was it for me. I thought I wouldn't be happy and myself again. I was broken and alone. I tried to move on and I pushed my friends away and left S.T.A.R labs."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "It was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made—pushing my friends away. It was a dark time for me. Luckily, they didn't give up on me and they showed me that I wasn't alone. They were there for me."

My expression darkened and I gritted my teeth. "I know."

She looked at her with scrunched eyebrows. "Hmm?"

"I remember," I whispered. "I—Barry and Cisco were there for you. Good for you. There's only one flaw in your suggestion. "I don't have anyone that cares about me as your friends care about you."

She took a step towards him. "That's not true. I care about you." She took his hands and dropped something heavy in his palm.

"What's this?"

"It's a little communication device. You can contact me with it if you need anything."

I studied it. "It's small."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're welcome. Just don't call me at night. I need my sleep."

"Caitlin?" I suddenly asked.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you so nice to me? Is there something you want from me?"

She gawked at him. "Seriously? I'm a nice person okay? I do nice things for people without asking anything in return. Don't be so paranoid, not everyone is out to get you."

She stomped back towards the house but quickly turned around. "There's always light in darkness Savitar, remember that. Oh also don't get in trouble!"

I smirked. "No promises."

"Goodbye Savitar."

"Bye Caitlin."