The babysitter - Taekook

THIRTY-NINE

Taehyung is driving in full speed over the street. He passes by all those shops and stores that are located left and right, not giving them any attention.

He breathes heavily, hands grabbing the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white. He feels weak. So weak. Just like he could lose consciousness at any moment.

Taehyung tries to take deep breaths in order to calm himself down what doesn't work at all. He can't calm down. Not now, not in this situation.

He drives carelessly, doesn't look out for his surroundings. He knows it's wrong to do so but he just can't help it. Taehyung feels like he would die if he'd slow down.

He doesn't know how much time he has. He doesn't know what he'll see later. He just knows that he wants to arrive, as soon as possible.

Taehyung can't be too late. He hopes for the best.

Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay, you'll see.

It repeats like a mantra in his head, in hope to calm him down but failing completely. The last time he thought that everything will be okay, his girlfriend's death was announced only minutes later.

Taehyung doesn't believe anymore, he doesn't trust in any kind of luck anymore. He only hopes, hopes and wishes for the best.

Like last time, he wants it to be a dream. Only a nightmare, nothing more, nothing real. But was it? No. He was left alone with a child. Alone. On his own. Scared to death.

But then he came. Like a knight in a shining armor, literally. He, the man Taehyung adores with all his heart. He saved him. Him and his son. And Taehyung knows that and he'll never forget. One can't forget something like that.

What they have is special, a big force. Somehow like destiny. Sounds like a cliché, doesn't it? But how would you call it instead? It must be destiny.

And all these thoughts are running through Taehyung's mind as he drives the road up to this hated building.

Why why why? That's what Taehyung asks himself. He's not an angel he's aware of that but doesn't he deserve a bit of happiness?

He rushes out of the car as soon as he arrives there. He sprints over, into the building and up the stairs, passing by so many people, causing them to stumble. A few sorrys escape his lips but he doesn't really mean it. He can't focus on that right now.

Breathing like crazy, he finally arrives there in front of the door.

"Mr. Kim?" a doctor asks, causing Taehyung to flinch and turn all his attention to her. He nods shakily and takes a deep breath, looking hopefully at the woman. "I'm sorry.."

Taehyung doesn't hear anything after that. It feels like a flashback. A flashback to the worst day in his life.

It hurts so much. So indescribable much.

Taehyung wants to scream but no sound escapes his lips. He wants to run but his feet don't do their job. He wants to close his eyes and forget all of this but it doesn't happen.

Taehyung feels like he's captured inside a cage and nobody's able to let him out. He's not able to live this life without him.

He was his everything, his saviour when he was at his worst. He saw his future in him. And now, everything is over.

Lost. Lost and over.

Taehyung sees all their arguments flash by. Everything he's ever said to him, everytime he's ever hurt him. And it pains him. Every memory pains him, makes him feel like his heart is being ripped out of his chest.

He breathes heavily, the world starts to spin around. Taehyung sees Jeongguk, smiling happily at him; he sees all their happy times together.

Every laugh they shared, every kiss. So sweet yet so hard for him now. He'll never be able to live without him, he knows that.

Car accidents happen, he knows that as well. But it doesn't have to end like this. It never should have ended like this.

He wanted to grow gray and old together.

Taehyung closes his eyes as the spinning gets too much. He feels like he's on a carousel and everything is too fast for him. He lets out a sob and-

With a loud gasp for air Taehyung wakes up. He sits up and breathes heavily.

Taehyung's thoughts are spinning in his head and he needs a few seconds until he realises that he's in his bed in his house.

It was a nightmare. Nothing more than a terrible nightmare. Taehyung laughs shakily, feeling the relief wash over him.

He reaches for his cheeks only to feel the wet patches on them. He slowly wipes away the tears and tries to regain his breath to calm himself down.

"It was only a dream, nothing more than a dream." Taehyung tells himself while rubbing his temple as his head has started to hurt.

There's no hospital. No car accident. And Jeongguk is alright- Jeongguk!

Taehyung widens his eyes in shock as he starts to pat the other side of the bed, only to confirm what he's feared.

It's empty.

Taehyung feels the worry creeping up again. In the blink of an eye he reaches over to his nightstand to have a look at the time.

He switches on his phone. 3:20am and no Jeongguk.

The younger wanted to be here by now. He wanted to be here two hours earlier. Where is he?

Taehyung feels his heart beat against his chest.

Where is he?