"I just think it's funny how your a drug dealer and your grandmother owns the biggest church in this town."
"I just think it's funny how your in my fucking business."
He was one of the biggest drug dealers in this town and everyone knew except his...
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𝙱𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚡 , 𝙽𝚈
By now moving day should've been easy for me.
My mother done told me so many times that we was moving but I never really believed her , shit it wouldn't be the first time she said something like that.
I've been living here my whole life so of course it's gonna be hard for me to move.
It's really all I know.
And I liked to stick with what I knew. I didn't like new things and new beginnings.
I was never diagnosed with it but I always knew I had social anxiety. I hated new people I couldn't be around people too long before I start thinking crazy unnecessary shit.
A bitch wasn't coo coo for Cocoa Puffs now but I couldn't just stand to be around people.
I could barely be around family for too long.
I honestly think it's because when you look at me I'm not apart of society picture of a pretty girl.
Firstly because I was a black young women.
Being black and a woman that's already so much to handle being in America and then I wasn't those pretty black girls with nice bodies I was fat.
Okay .. maybe not fat fat but fat.
I was fat , insecure, socially awkward and the verbal abuse from my mother didn't really help a lot.
But that's life. I guess.
You know what they say , it could be worse.
I honestly think it's bullshit , like don't compare your piece of shit life to someone else's piece of Shit life.
Just because theirs is shittier doesn't mean you should still go through pain and abuse because someone elses is worse y'know?
But that's just me , then again what do I know.
I was packing the last bit of my stuff in my suitcase. My mother was waiting for me downstairs rushing the fuck outta me because she had to go to work.
It's crazy how she worked a lot but still made time to torture me. I already knew I was going to be in the house by myself 25/8 but I guess that was kinda good except the fact I feel like I be hearing shit when I stay home by myself too long. And now I'm moving into some new apartment.
Fan fucking tastic.
The worst part of this was that I wasn't going to know nobody there.
Ive been over there once and I at least saw five fine ass niggas.
Knowing damn well your ass ain't scooping not one.
I feel like god punishes me for something I did in my past life because there is no way I get punished like this.
My mother knew I didn't want to move. I begged and begged her.
The only good thing I can say about me was that I dressed good , and since my mom always worked I did always have good clothes and sometimes expensive designer brands.
Today I was wearing a sweatsuit with some balenciaga track shoes nothing really spectacular to me.
I had my weave in so my straight weave was down to my butt. Lace melted as fuck. You would of thought this was my real hair. Giving very much scalp.
"Cmon take your stuff out my car Nia I gots to go. I'll send you some money later to buy food there's a diner across the street as you can see it's nice and usually has kids your age in there try to make some friends since you have none now except for Trinity. Your loneliness is getting sad now. Also eat a salad or something Nia your thighs is getting bigger." She scoffed.
See she always found a way to insult me one way or another it should be a fucking sport how she does it so effortlessly.
I told her bye and took my stuff out the car.
I don't even remember the last time I told her I loved her.
Right when she pulled off a bunch of kids who were standing next to the diner that was literally across the street from my house stared right at me.
I already felt myself breathing a little harder.
It's ok your a bad bitch , nice weave , long lashes , bad bitch. Anybody wanna fight drop your shit start swinging.
All these unnecessary thoughts popped up in my head while I was trying to open the door to the apartment complex.
I was trying not to drop the key because I promise If this key fell to the floor that shit would stay there I would not bend down in front of everybody.
I already could tell across the street was a hangout.
Jesus H christ kill me now. I wanted to scream out so loud right now.
I finally got the complicated ass key into the door and opened the door.
The only good thing was the house was nice , I had my own room and bathroom.
I couldn't wait to cook and bake in here.
I know ironic a fat bitch dreams to be a cook and baker. Hilarious.
It's the lack of self confidence for me.
After sitting down and staring off into space for like ten minutes I finally started to unpack and put all my shit where they belonged. I finished in no time really.
Looking at the time I realized it was dinner time and I was hungry.
When aren't you.
Ignoring my piece of shit Conscience I looked at my account and my mother deposited fourty dollars into my account.
Fine with Me.
Oh fuck that means a bitch had to go across the street to the diner.
Fuck it I was a bad bitch and I was going to get food the fuck.
Taking a deep breath and another mini pep talk I walked across the street.
It's honestly really sad that I have to do all of this just to be around people my age.
Kinda embarrassing.
But it was just me a Black fat socially awkward lonely young woman.
Okayyyyyyy y'all so this was the first chapter😭 I literary read this chapter sooo many times and I hated it I just don't I feel like it's shitty and dumb but I guess I hope you guys like it kinda... but it does definitely do get better. ❤️
