Awkward

Chapter 20

The week leading up to graduation was brutal. Chase and I barely acknowledged each other anymore after that weekend. Waking up next to him for the first time was bittersweet, because it meant so much to me, yet hurt so much. We drove home in dead silence, expect for the times Ashley and Jase tried to lighten the mood by trying to make conversation, neither one of us spoke. Walking into my house and being bombarded by questions by both of my parents was even harder,

“How was the weekend?” my dad asked as I made my way to the kitchen, he texted me saying that he was here for the week because of my graduation 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I muttered as I fiddled with my fingers, my mom looked at me confused as she set the food she was preparing on the counter as she made her way over to me, she glanced at me and then at my father

“I thought you’d be happy about Juilliard…” she whispered and I took a deep breath as tears brimmed my eyes “What happened?” she said as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it 

“Can I just go to sleep? I’m really tired.” I said, as I sniffled, I glanced at my dad who gave me a sad smile, he nodded and I grabbed my bag as I made my way to my room, I closed the door behind me and leaned on the door as I took deep breaths, my lip was quivering and before I knew it, I erupted in sobs as my knees caved under me and I fell to the floor, crying hysterically. 

That night, my mind was clouded with memories of me and Chase, from when we first met to when he told me he loved me. Those memories were the ones that hurt the most. Because I knew in the back of my mind that it was really over between us. 

“Can you stop being so gloomy?” Ashley exclaimed as we made our way over to our science class together “You’ve been avoiding each other, it’s really starting to make me become depressed.” She said as she pouted and I half-smiled at her 

“What am I supposed to do, Ash?” I said with a sigh “It hurts to look at him.” I mumbled, she grabbed both of my shoulders and looked at me sadly before hugging me tightly 

“I know it does, babe.” she said as she rubbed my back “But avoiding each other isn’t going to make things any better.”

“I know it won’t, but I can’t say goodbye to him again.” I whispered “I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll break.” I sighed deeply as I closed my eyes tightly “How am I supposed to say goodbye to him on Friday?” 

“I don’t know.” she huffed “We’ll work it out.” 

*****

“Honey?” My mom said as she knocked on my door, it was the morning of my graduation. The last day I’d see Ashley… and Chase. “Can I come in?” I nodded and I heard her footsteps behind me “Why won’t you talk to me?” she whispered and I turned to look at her and sighed deeply “What happened between you and Chase? I noticed he hasn’t been around.” I looked at my hands as I sat on my bed, she followed as she rubbed my back “And you seem so sad, and not as excited as I’d imagined you’d be.” 

“We broke up.” I whispered, I felt her grab my hand and squeeze it tightly, a soft sob escaped my lips as I rested my head on her chest “I miss him so much, mom.” She stroked my hair as she tried to comfort me, hugging me tightly 

“I know it hurts, honey.” she whispered “What happened?” she asked and I sniffled as we pulled apart and I wiped my eyes as she smiled me sadly 

“When you told me about Juilliard, I knew he wasn’t happy about it.” I said as I looked at my hands “He never really was a big fan of the idea of me moving all the way to New York. I think he just expected me to stay here, but… I just couldn’t give it up. This is a huge opportunity for me, him as well.”