Midnight Thoughts

Movie moments

I don't know if it's just me, but my life is and isn't a movie. Actually scratch that my life is the first cut, those haphazard piece of film you see potential in but aren't anything to be proud of. But life won't let you edit, life won't let you retake. Oh god, I wish I could retake...
my courage
my trust
my honesty
I don't know who let this mess of a first cut air but it did and I'm stuck with it. Replaying the bad over and over until it's as tangible now as the day it happened...
the day you all lied
the day I ran
the day I was bruised
But wait no one saw the mark, if you can't see it it's not there right? That's how a movie works, we don't see the bloopers, we don't see the mics. So as visual beings we believe they weren't there, they didn't happen. Stupid humans. You can't see the wind but that doesn't mean the house is still standing. But that night wasn't like the wind, wind isn't subtle. Wind storms don't catch you off guard. No that night and all the others that left me this sliver of a soul was like mold
slow and permanent and deadly
Permanent is the memory of your hand, of how loud it was, how sudden it was.
Couldn't you have given me a warning?! Why didn't you let me save her?! I thought you loved her, I thought you cared about her, I thought your were the light at the end of tunnel. SHE WAS INNOCENT.
And I guess I wasn't wrong... it was the end just not the one I expected.
I realized to late your weren't only light, you were heat, you were chaos, and I was fire. Suddenly and completely burnt into ashes. You did this but you won't do it again. I might be burnt but ash helps plants to grow with all they have. So if I can't be retake and edit I guess I'll let others use what's left.
So I guess all I have to say is thanks for the match...