Operation Skinny ✔️

CHAPTER 5: LUNCH WITH JI-HO

I felt fine this morning. And even after a few periods at school, I still felt okay. I'd sat in my English class watching Mr. Peterson scribble nonsense on the whiteboard as he spoke in his usual monotonous voice about whatever old-English book we were supposed to be reading.

I had to buy a new skirt, and I had at the expense of my mother yelling at me about wasting our limited funds. But I ended up getting it anyway and it was in a smaller size than my original one. Gaby mainly left me alone while Mr. Peterson talked, especially now that I sat across the classroom from her.

It had been nearly two months now since the last meal I'd had and I had quickly slimmed down four pant sizes. Mom was excited to take me shopping for new clothes and I was grateful that my body was finally cooperating.

"I've been meaning to ask," Ji-ho said one afternoon as he sat across from me in the cafeteria. He occasionally ate with me now and each time I would make an excuse as to why I didn't have lunch.

It wasn't challenging at home anymore because I would bury myself in my room and hide from my mom. And anytime she tried to give me food, I'd stash it in a bag and drop it off at school the next day to give to the homeless shelter. Mom never questioned my integrity.

"Hmm?" I responded, tilting my head up to look at him.

"Why do you always have the word 'no' on your wrist? It's not a tattoo, right?" He raised an eyebrow. I saw several glances turn in our direction, each of which shared the same down-trodden look. Why is he eating with fat Phoebe, won't it rub off on him?

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling self conscious as I watched him bite into his burger. His strong, slim jaw moved up and down as he chewed.

Ji-ho had definitely bulked up a little since I'd first met him. He probably worked out with the other guys and I wondered at what point he'd stop hanging out with me because I was never skinny enough or hot enough to blend in with the blonde bimbos and straight-haired brunettes. I was a misfit in every aspect of my life and I suppose that the two main misfits at Parley should hang out. However, Ji-ho wasn't a misfit in any aspect of the word, he was popular with everyone.

"Every day, it looks like you redraw that word on your wrist. I want to know why?" I asked as Ji-ho looked at me thoughtfully. His mono-lidded eyes widened as he watched me curiously and I bit my lip, unsure of what to say.

Thus, I said nothing. Instead, I sat there silently and observed him.

"I mean, I have an idea, but I don't want to offend you." He muttered, taking another bite of his cheeseburger. I wanted to vomit at the smell of food.

"I don't get offended easily." I lied. But, Ji-ho had never said anything offensive to me— but, obviously he didn't know I was lying through my teeth.

"I'm guesing it's like a reminder or something. Like, say no to every boy that asks you out." He laughed, but there was a twinkle in his eye as he watched for my reaction. He had hit the nail right on the head, but the reasoning was completely off. I had, in fact, no boys wanting to ask me out. Nobody, aside from Ji-ho, was okay with being seen with me.

I had often blamed it on my personality, but I quickly realized that: no, my personality was fine. I could be quirky and funny and all the other good things a friend has. It was my appearance that drove people away. They found me unattractive and the majority of people make their first impressions and other judgements based on what they see. I was fat— still am— and people refused to look past that.

"You got me. That's exactly right." I said, ripping the skin off of the side of my nail as I bled. Ji-ho didn't notice when I hid my hands under the table, hoping I didn't bleed too much.

"Do you want my apple juice?" He offered randomly, "I feel bad that you're just watching me eat." It seemed like every word he said was purposeful and I wondered if he knew about my secret.

"I like watching people eat." I said, my own eyes widening at what I'd said.

"I can buy your lunch and you can just pay me back another day?" He wasn't convinced when he offered, ignoring my statement about watching people eat. I shook my head.

"I'm really okay." I smiled, feeling the warm slime in my hands as the blood continued to sneak out of the ripped up cuticle. "I could use a napkin, though." I smiled as he handed me one. I took it with the hand that wasn't bleeding and quickly placed it on the other hand, hoping I didn't make a mess on my clothes.

"Can I drive you home, after school today?" Ji-ho suddenly asked and I looked at him with contempt.

"Why? I thought we were taking the bus." I asked, recalling that he hadn't been on the bus this morning. I wondered if he had just gotten sick of me— but now, I put the puzzle pieces together and realized that he'd brought his car.

"Jamison said I could take his car for a test-drive so it could be the three of us." The thought of Jamison made me gag. "Or, we can take my car." He grinned cheekily, "I just upgraded the sound system, the reverb is amazing. We can jam out to something other than the country music that the bus driver always plays."

"No thanks." I said, laughing at the bus-driver comment, "I'm getting my car fixed soon. Dad finally took it to the shop. I probably won't be riding the bus anymore." He made the same expression that my mom made when I told her I wanted to hang out with friends: disappointment.

"I see." He said. I wished I knew what he was thinking, "Does that mean you'll be going off campus for lunch then?"

"Yes." I responded, applying more pressure to my hand in hopes that it would stop the bleeding.

"Can I go with you?" He asked and my eyebrows shot up. He always said things that made my heart speed up a little for no reason.

"Why would you want to do that?" I responded.

"Because we're friends." He said in a tone that read are-you-dumb-this-is-so-obvious. I nodded.

"Maybe." I responded as he changed the subject.

I began feeling dizzy and didn't listen to half the things he said, but lunch ended eventually and I wanted to go straight home.

Perhaps I'd let Ji-ho drive me.

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Until next chapter ♥️