Operation Skinny ✔️

CHAPTER 6: OFF CAMPUS

We drove to Braum's, a classic burger and ice cream place that was very common in the midwest, especially in McAlester, Oklahoma.

Ji-ho and I had gotten very comfortable with each other, we'd gone to lunch together almost every day since I'd gotten my car fixed a few weeks ago. It was always fun to spend time together— aside from his suspicions of my excuses. We'd often switch drivers and I was grateful for my only friend. It had been over a year since I'd had friends to talk to. It was nice.

I was shocked, honestly, that he'd chosen me over Jamison and the goons for the past month or so. And it made me wonder if the reason he started hanging out with me more was because I had become more pleasant to look at now that I had lost some weight.

And even though I weighed 140 pounds now, I still felt like I was a fat giant. I could never overlook my flaws. My stomach was flat now, but my arms still flapped like bird-wings. My legs still chafed and touched, rubbing uncomfortably against each other when I wore my skirt. It stressed me out and bothered me and took a toll on my self-esteem.

I don't eat.

I hadn't eaten a single thing in over three months and I had lost over fifty pounds as a result. And, while I realize this rapid weight loss may be unhealthy, it had quickly become an obsession. I wondered what would happen if I ever ate anything again. Would I gain all the weight back instantly or would it trickle in slowly over time— even if I didn't eat. I had a fear of food that hadn't existed before and I couldn't bring myself to think about it anymore without feeling the need to barf. I was becoming skinny and it made me happy that I could now push away the thing that made me large in the first place: food.

"Phoebes, you've got to try this ice-cream." Ji-ho moaned as he licked the ice-cream sundae, the caramel swirls presented themselves on his tongue along with the white of the ice-cream. I was entranced, taking a moment to recuperate before looking away; he was really handsome, especially now that he had much more muscle to his slim frame as opposed to before.

"I'm okay." I said, "it looks good though." I smiled warmly.

"You know, Phoebe, I find it weird that I've never seen you eat anything." Ji-ho said casually, using a spoon this time to eat his ice-cream. My eyebrows shot up and I hoped he couldn't see the panic on my face.

"I eat... a lot! Like a pig! You should see me when I get home, I just stuff my face into everything!" I said over-enthusiastically. I shuddered at the pitch that my voice had risen to and prayed that he wouldn't notice.

"Right..." he drawled, placing a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth and slowly taking it out. It was almost sensual.

"Anyway, we should head back soon." I suggested, standing up and avoiding eye contact.

"I'm not done yet," Ji-ho said, not moving from his spot. He moved his left wrist to look at the time on his watch. "We still have fifteen minutes before we need to start heading back."

"R...right." I stuttered, flopping back down in my seat. I crossed my arms, adjusting my shirt.

"Do you want some?" He held the spoon in front of my face with a giant glob of ice-cream on it. I would've been tempted to eat it if the thought didn't disgust me.

"Some what?" I asked stupidly, biting my lip as I stared at his bicep.

"Of this sundae," he smiled, holding it close to my mouth.

"You're going to feed me?" I laughed, "no thanks."

"Are you sure?" He asked as the white vanilla icecream slowly dripped down from the silver spoon and landed on the table, leaving two small drops there. "It's melting." He pointed out.

"I'm okay!" I said, wishing he would give up and finish his lunch so we could leave. He, as someone who was thin and athletic, had the luxury of eating ice-cream for lunch and receiving no consequences. I was beyond jealous, but I also knew that I had my own hidden weapon and it was the word 'no' that I'd been contemplating tattooing even more lately.

"Phoebe can I be honest with you?" Ji-ho asked randomly, stabbing the spoon back into the ice-cream and setting it aside. He leaned forward, both elbows on the table, as his eyes bored into mine.

"Always," I said, but I didn't understand why my voice was shaking as I said it.

"It's just that... we've been friends for this entire semester and winter break starts soon. I was wondering if you'd want to go to on a skiing trip with me and my family." He smiled. I genuinely wasn't expecting him to ask me something like that and therefore, I could do nothing more than stare at him.

My mouth was frozen and unwilling to move.

"Only if you want to, I mean winter break starts next week and I think it would be really fun." He added, nervously.

Why me?! I wanted to ask. Out of all of his friends, why had he asked me to go to something so intimate with him and his family. It seemed so out-of-the-blue that I didn't know how to respond to it. The thoughts raced through my head, but I didn't know what to say.

"My parents are really strict." I found my voice, "they don't even know I have lunch with you. They would never agree to let me go with you." I looked down.

"Maybe you can tell them it's a school field trip." He suggested.

"What if they call the school?" I countered, playing the devil's advocate that neither of us asked for.

"We can come up with something— maybe give them my number if they call or something. We can go skiing— and it's only going to be for a couple days. I would love it if you came with us."

The thought occurred to me that this wasn't something typical of friends to do. Back when I lived a few towns away and had many friends, I was never invited to spent more than a night at their home— of which, I always had to reject because of my parents. For a second I wondered if Ji-ho was asking me on a date. But quickly, I scoffed at he thought— there was no way. I'm too unattractive and fat for a guy, much less a guy like Ji-ho to like me. And absolutely not romantically.

"Um..." I paused for a brief moment, realizing that I hadn't done a single rebellious thing in my life and this would be a small chance at freedom. "Yes, I'll go. I'll do whatever you said. It's a school trip." I winked awkwardly, but Ji-ho didn't cringe. Instead, a wide smile stretched across his face as his dazzling teeth sparkled.

"Wait really?" He looked astonished through his excitement, "I can't wait! It'll be so much fun."

I smiled as he returned his attention to the ice-cream sundae while many worries began billowing around my mind.