Here to Misbehave | S.R.

Ch. 20 | The Truth

Summary: Reader finds unsettling marks on her boyfriend.

Content Warning: Pregnancy discussion, penetrative sex, safeword use (respected), drug use mention, blindfolds, emetophobia warning (vomit), unprotected sex, arguing

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I wanted to see my boyfriend. At the same time, I really did not want to see my boyfriend. I wasn't quite sure how to rectify that.

It'd been a month since I had found Spencer's secrets hidden in his closet, and I'd been putting off doing something about it for much longer than that. I knew that I couldn't keep it up. Not only because he was getting more insistent, but because it was draining the life out of me.

So I made a decision: I was going to see him, and I would try to be normal.

Call it denial or self-preservation, but I had spent the past two weeks since I last saw him convincing myself that nothing had changed.

He was still my boyfriend that I cared for very much, and he hadn't done anything to hurt me. I mean, I still didn't know whether he had ever used those drugs. It could be that he had another reason for not showing me his arms. What that could possibly be, I had no idea.

I had never asked.

So maybe, if I could just convince myself for long enough that everything is normal, things would make sense again and it won't matter. Maybe he would come clean with an explanation himself. I wasn't sure what the likelihood of that was.

I wished I could ask him. He would know.

Chewing anxiously on my bottom lip, I pressed dial on the phone, holding my breath until I heard his voice (which took virtually no time at all.)

"Hey, little girl."

"Hey," I said with a relieved smile at the sound of his voice, "are you busy?"

There was a chuckle across the way, entertained by his answer before he even gave it. "Might come as a surprise to you with my thrilling social life but, no. I'm not busy."

It was crazy; whenever I spoke with him like this, the tension and fear would just... melt away. It was scary, to know how easily I could be persuaded to forget. How easy it was for both of us to pretend everything was fine.

"You want to be?" I asked, trying to summon the typical cadence of my voice.

"Hmmm. That's a tempting offer." He joked, clearly excited by the prospect. But then again, he could probably also sense my hesitance. It was quiet for a moment before I continued.

"Can I come over?"

"...You sure?" He started, sounding unsure himself, "I can come to you if you don't want to drive."

I was swirling my keys in my hand, having already planned to go to his place. Worst case scenario, I could always just leave. If he came here it would be far more complicated.

I hated that I was already planning an escape route for the worst possible situation, but I couldn't turn off that part of my brain anymore. I already had a rehearsed excuse.

"We can't do what I want at my place." It was also just true. It had been a month since I slept with him, and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss it. I didn't care if that made me sound like a whore, because I know it was more than just sex.

When I was with him, it felt like the rest of the world didn't exist. He told me so many things in those moments that I'd never heard outside of them. As long as I love you didn't become one of those things that was only muttered then, I was okay with that.