Love For Sell

14

Tzuyu always believed that fame was one of those things that she will be never tired of, no matter how many paparazzi she fights, nor how busy her life becomes. Fame, applause... She lived for those things like Tinkerbell, and she wanted nothing more than to live the dream by breathing in the cries of the crowd at her job.

She stares at the ceiling of her empty apartment. In her arm chair, a tumbler of chai tea in her hand, no artificial means could seem to warm her. Despite being dressed in her warmest knit sweater, Tzuyu still shivered. She rubbed her hands along her arms, but it did nothing, so she wrapped herself in a blanket.

The heat was broken.

One letter masked what is truly wrecked. One letter made all the difference.

Each time she allowed herself the downtime to think, Tzuyu's imagination often wandered to Sana. She wanted to know how many women she had touched in a day. How many cried out her name as they came. But in all honesty, thinking about it only enabled annoyance and a rage she had no idea how to control.

Tzuyu didn't want to think about Sana being with anyone else but her.

In frustration, Tzuyu got up and shrugged on her winter coat. After sending Lisa a quick text, they agreed to meet up in their favourite diner. A quick bus ride later, Tzuyu sat on a booth and played Candy Crush on her phone while she waited.

"Hey, what's wrong? That was a pretty urgent-sounding text." Lisa asked, pink-cheeked and breathless as she slid in the booth in front of Tzuyu. She tucked her phone back in her purse and locked her fingers on the table.

"I just needed to get out of the house. All this idle time is not good for me. Ever since we finished filming the movie, I have too much free time on my hands." Tzuyu sucked in a sharp breath to slow down the flood of words she wanted to speak.

"I get that." Lisa nodded sagely, patting Tzuyu's hand before ordering coffee for herself. "But in two weeks you'd be wishing you appreciated that alone time more."

Tzuyu nodded. "I know." She nibbled the inside of her bottom lip. "How's Sans?"

It was the first time in Years that Tzuyu spoke her name out loud, and it was easier than she thought, like an incantation she memorized long ago. The sound of Sana's name in her own voice still had the same effect—pleasant with the aftertaste of missing her. She watched Lisa's features as she took her time adding cream and sugar to her cup.

"She's fine, why do you ask?"

Tzuyu shrugged. "I was just curious, that's all."

Lisa squeezed Tzuyu's hand in hers. "Tzuyu, in another life, I have no doubts that you and Sana would be good for each other. But in this world, I don't think it's smart to entertain the idea of being in a relationship with Sana."

"Did she tell you how she feels about me?" Tzuyu demanded, hands clenched into fists. It was hard to hear, but she had to, if only for the peace of her mind.

"She did," Lisa's voice dropped into a low volume that forced Tzuyu to lean in closer in order to hear. "But it's not my position to interfere between you two. Just know that Sana's feelings for you are real." Hearing this, Tzuyu sat back, wide-eyed and shocked. Lisa smiled. "I've never seen anything affect Sana the way you do, Tzuyu."

She sipped her coffee, filled with delight at the taste and the satisfying news she just received. She could see any other course of action but to say. "Lisa, I need to see Sana. And soon."

"I can't just do that." Lisa argued. "That's not an information that is mine to give, and you agreed not to see her again."

"I can change my mind whenever I want."Tzuyu huffed. "The things I say are not set in stone. And I realize now that it's not that easy to keep me away from someone like Sana. Someone who makes me feel amazing in more ways than one." Tzuyu closed her eyes, memories of Sana's effect on her thundering through her like a shotgun to her chest. "With Sana, it's not just happy or sad or pleasure or pain. It's always both. Something complex and hard to name." Tzuyu raised her eyes to Lisa and saw her eyes, stark and bright and sympathetic. "Lili, please."