We'll Never be Sane

Chapter 36

I'd just inched my hand towards the door handle, before I changed my mind. My lips parted to speak but before I could speak he grabbed my chin and smashed his lips to mine.

The movement made took me aback completely. His grip was steel, his kiss passionate enough to make forget any reservations I had. My fingers slid into his hair, grabbing a tight hold of it. It was so soft and thick.

Grounding myself was extremely hard, it took everything in me to open my eyes and pull away. "Stop." I breathed, though my aching body yelled at me for doing so.

He was seeing another girl, I was trying hard to push him out of my life and here I was making out with him. Something was very wrong with me, I would kill myself before becoming another one of the girls who drop on their knees for him.

My lips brushed his as I spoke. The need to close the gap burned and burned till I was left in ashes. "Why are you making it so hard for me to push you away?"

"Why do you push me away?"

"I-" a sigh slips from my mouth. "I don't know."

Because I'm a coward afraid of being hurt.

Because if he did hurt me, I'd never recover.

His gaze hardened, something very vulnerable and certain swirling in the blue of his eyes. His palm moved up the side of my face, holding onto my hair. His tone said one thing, the hard grip on me another. "Stop pushing me away."

The words brushed someplace deep in my chest, but I knew how this was - growing up being stripped of any emotion by my father I knew that nobody could ever care for me, even the slightest bit.

I didn't understand why, and I didn't want to either. My hand reached the door handle. He would break me like he did to every other girl, I would do well to stay away. If I didn't, I might just let him crush me in his hand.

The breeze touched my skin as I stepped out. The rain had stopped by now, but the sky was still a miserable grey. I entered the dorm building, going up the stairs and into the hallway.

I started pulling my keys out from my pocket, but seeing who was already standing in front of my door, they dropped. Theo's eyes were filled with red anger.

Slowly I picked my keys up knowing he was going to snap at me any second now. "Well then? Bark."

"Where have you been?" He lowly asked. I opened my door and stepped in as he followed.

"Why do you care?"

"After I've been trying to track you down when you went to that fucking camp I expect you to answer me."

I plopped on my bed, so tired and not in the mood for his yelling.

"With no bodyguards, no phone, how am I supposed to know you aren't dead in a fucking ditch!!!!"

Though I wasn't the slightest afraid, I still flinched at the volume of his voice. He ran his hand through his hair as his phone started ringing.

"What?" He snarled. I stared at the keys in my lap, and started playing with them. "Those fucking Santini's !"

Santini's? My mind sprung alive with alertness at the mention of the name.