Chapter 32

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Finn didn't wait for the helicopter to hit the ground before he jumped out. Procedure demanded he inform the Commander their mission was a success. Reports had to be written and a post-mission debrief needed to take place. But all of that was going to wait until he saw Emily.

Scanning the ground as he jogged to the Commander's office, he hoped to see her red hair, followed by silver eyes and pink lips he could not wait to kiss. Concentrate on the mission, she had requested and he had forced himself to oblige, mostly. When he did think of Emily, his heart swelled with the possibilities. For the first time... well in almost a decade, he looked forward to the future. Finn wanted to make plans, not simply exist anymore.

Eight years ago, he had been confident enough in his feelings for Emily that he mapped out their whole lives. Including making a home with her, putting down roots as his parents had before him. During his visit with Delora, Finn had even convinced his sister to give him their mother's engagement ring. He was that sure.

As far as he knew, the ring still sat in a safe in his brother Simon's office. When Finn had returned with it in hand, Emily was gone. He never got a chance to give it to her. Rejected before he could even ask the question.

Since then, Finn gave up on making plans. What was the point? Nothing in his life was permanent. Not wanted anywhere, the army  had  felt like his only choice. He was grateful for the opportunity. It gave him purpose. But it didn't offer any gratification. It was a temporary job with little prospects when it was over. With no home to call his own, he would once again have nowhere to go.

Friends envied his carefree lifestyle. No responsibilities. No  strings.  Nothing to hold him back from getting what he desired. They never suspected Finn might feel different. That what he yearned for was strings. Tied to the world. To be grounded by someone. To belong. To be loved.

Now Finn was getting a second chance.

Once they had their target acquired, the mission was over. It was all Finn could do to not stop grinning like a fool. The ride back to the base had been full of daydreams of reuniting on the tarmac, swapping jungle for sea and escaping away to some exotic Caribbean resort where he could spoil Emily. No worship her.

But he had to find Emily first.

The Commander would know where she was located. Bursting into the office only to be informed the man was out on the base doing rounds didn't damper his mood. His assistant suggested starting with the watchtower, as the Commander liked to get a sense of the city each day. Finn thanked him for his suggestion and headed out.

Upon reaching the stairs leading up to the elevated platform, he took them two at a time, heart and feet light with anticipation. Catching sight of the Commander, Finn saluted him.

"Sir, mission complete." The Commander seemed surprised to see him. And there was something else in his expression Finn could not make out.

"We didn't know you were coming in."

"Yes sir, we achieved our goal in the early hours of the morning and had to maintain radio silence until we hit the border." Finn didn't like the way the Commander was avoiding looking at him. He could not take it any longer. "Where's Emily?" he demanded.

The Commander sighed. The sigh sliced right through Finn. She was gone. Emily had left him. Again.

Pain exploded in his chest, all too familiar. Like last time. The empty bus station. The letter ending in 'I'm sorry'.

Would there be another note?

"Miss Montgomery is not here." The words confirmed Finn's greatest fear.

He cursed his stupidity for believing this time was different. The way Emily had rushed to him when she found his words, her instance on coming with him to this foreign land, that kiss in the cargo area. It had all felt so real. The pain began to grow, spreading across his body, leeching into his soul.

"She's a stubborn one, that girl of yours." The Commander continued. Finn was barely listening. Too busy trying to keep his heart from breaking into a million slivers. "She argued hard to wait until you came back. But in the end, I had to give her an ultimatum."

"Sorry, sir?" Finn didn't understand. Had he said wait? Ultimatum?

"It's ironic actually. She was standing where you are right now less than an hour ago. Begging to stay. Insisting you would be back soon." The Commander shook his head, "How could she know?"

Finn's mind was swimming. The Commander was saying Emily had not left him, not on purpose. But rather she had fought to stay. The pain in his chest dissipated.

"I ordered her to go."

A nerve in Finn's throat twitched. "Go where sir?"

"Her passport came in." The Commander pointed out into the city. "She's at the US Embassy now, picking it up." Finn followed his hand and looked across the bustling city. Emily was out there. In a foreign city, full of danger. Anger started to boil within Finn.

"You sent her into the city..." he growled.

The Commander looked at him directly now, rising to Finn's challenge to his authority. "She has a security detail. I assure you she's perfectly -"

A loud bang caused all the occupants of the watchtower to flinch. It was an all to familiar sound to anyone who had seen combat. Finn and the Commander turned towards the city looking for the location of the explosion. Smoke was billowing up from the direction where the Commander had just been indicating.

Finn swallowed bile. This was not happening.

From somewhere in the tower a telephone began ringing. An officer picked it up and with all eyes on her, she took in the information. Putting down the phone, she broke the news. "It's the U.S. Embassy. A bomb has taken out the front gates. The building is now taking heavy fire and-."

Finn didn't hear the rest, or what the Commander was yelling at him as he flew down the stairs. Knowing where he needed to go. He had been at the Embassy before. Besides, there was now a massive smoke signal guiding him to its location.

Ten minutes of anguish later, Finn and Campbell were fighting against the tide of people fleeing the fire and flames, racing towards the government building. Finn had run into Campbell in the ammunition's barracks, where the man was unloading gear from their recent mission. It didn't take long for Campbell to get up to speed on the situation and insist on coming with Finn. Although he didn't want to admit it, Finn was grateful Campbell was there. He could not see straight, the world had a red haze, worry mixing with anger, tinted with guilt. There was no one he trusted more than Campbell to be his eyes and ears.

The jeep jerked as Campbell shifted into a lower gear. They were moving too slow. Finn wanted to get out and run.

"She's smart Finn," Campbell reassured. "And resourceful."

An unsaid 'if she's alive' hung in the air between them. Banging his clenched fist against the side door of the jeep, Finn swore at the top of his lungs. How could he let this happen? She should be back in Washington, sitting in a safe boardroom, studying for a case. Not here. Not ... A litany of blasphemous words poured from him.

Campbell's hand was on his shoulder, squeezing. "Get it together. Emily needs you to be smart too."

Closing his eyes, Finn focused on bundling up his feelings. This was how he kept his cool in pressure situations in the field. Balling up the anger, stomping down the fear, hiding away the guilt. Stuffing every emotion into a box in a far corner of his mind. Slamming a lid down tight, locking it away for later.

The dread Emily could be hurt was the hardest to wrangle, attaching its tentacles to every thought. But he did it. Forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. Do what was necessary.

A temporary stillness settled over him, the drumming in his ears fading to a dull roar. The box rocked back and forth but he ignored it. Emily needed him.

And right now, Emily was the only thing that mattered.

Eyes popping open, Finn replied calmly, "Got it."

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