unpredictable - Sirius Black

dreaming (ch.6)

self harm tw// if ur sensitive to this please don't read just like forget this story even exists xx

It was too late to stop now that you started. You had two shallow cuts on your wrists, you would only do deep cuts if it was really bad.

Usually you would cut on your legs, however the ones from a few weeks ago still hadn't quite healed yet. Finishing the last wound, you made sure you did this one with a bit more pressure. Tears rolled down your cheeks silently as you just stared at the three slices on your skin, crimson ichor pooling out of the incisions.

You got your small bottle of vodka from under your bed and poured the liquid over your wounds. More tears fell from your face due to the stinging. Before putting the bottle down you took a swig of it, holding back even more tears. Quickly you got a bandage and poured some more vodka onto the fabric, conscious of the amount of blood that was trickling down your arm. Wrapping up your wrist was easy, you had done it many times before. You'd heal it in the morning with a few spells, but for now it needed to be wrapped up.

Once you had cleaned up all the blood and put all the tissues in the bin, you sat on your bed staring at the floor.It would take a lot for the smile on your face to come back right now. Your wrist was still stinging, however that was a good thing. You hated resorting to this, it only ever made it worse. But, the damage was done.

There was never a real reason you started, you couldnt even remember why you started. But it didn't matter.

You soon went to sleep, exhaustion taking over.

You saw someone in handcuffs in front of you, you couldn't see their face they had they're back to you as they were being shoved away by people in suits.  Whoever it was began shouting things, too loud for you to figure out what they were. Until he spoke again this time as clear as day "You've got the wrong guy! I'm innocent"

You sat up, heart pounding out of your chest and sweat building up on your face.Your alarm was going off. it was just a dream, it wasn't real.

Turning off your alarm, you clambered out of your bed, the sheets all over the place. You put on your shoes and grab a towel to go take a shower.

It was still pretty early in the morning, there was 3 hours till breakfast starts, therefore you can take your time enjoying the warmth the water provides. Once you are done in the shower, you feel a lot better and start to get ready. You dry your hair and do all the things you would normally do after taking a shower- like putting on deodorant, cleaning your face and getting dressed.

You tied your hair up carelessly. Doing your makeup didn't take that long, bit of eyeshadow ,eyeliner, mascara and your done. The only thing left to do was heal your cuts. You unwrapped the bandages hissing with pain. Grabbing your wand you mumbled a few words moving it the correct way and just like that they slowly began to heal, might take a few hours for them to heal fully. You charmed them so no one else could see them, it was just easier that way.

You weren't really fond of breakfast, but you did enjoy the coffee so you decided to leave. Before heading out, you sprayed your perfume and then left .

Walking into the great hall, you saw that quite a few people are there, kind of dead looking due to it being morning but still there. You walked to your seat, getting the occasional staring and glaring from your many peers. You didn't mind, they meant nothing to you anyways.

You could feel eyes on you coming from the Gryffindor table, you glanced over and saw none other than Sirius Black looking at you again. He winked at you with a smirk on his face, you rolled your eyes only making him smirk even more. You had to admit, you liked him looking at you. It made you feel warm inside just thinking about him- No, what am i thinking. You sat down at your usual seat next to the other brother, trying to convince yourself that you don't feel anything.

"Y/N ? are you even listening to me right now?" Regulus scoffed.

"What? oh um yes i was definitely listening" You tried to say as convincingly as you could.

"No. No you weren't" he laughed " I asked where you was last night, after dinner you just vanished, i didn't see you in the common room-"

"Yeah i went to bed early, guess i was just really tired" you explained as he nodded understanding, "But anyways, how's life as a fifth year Reggie?"

He sighed, clear frustration on his face "I have so much work to do honestly, you'd think the teachers would give you some time to yourself but no. How did you survive?" he said just a little bit too dramatic.

Laughing at him "Is your melodrama done now?"

You were always very fond of Regulus. Though he was a year younger than you, he still had the same humour as you did. You shared a lot of the same problems, he also had a difficult family. From what you'd heard, his was worse.

Little time passed before your nice conversation with Regulus was interrupted, which you were rather disappointed about. You hadn't spoken to Regulus properly in a while, seeing him briefly over the summer when his parents came to your house. Horrid people. You had never met a pair as ghastly, they were made for each other.

You attention was quickly diverted to the table behind you, where the familiar four boys from yesterday, where now shouting your name.

They were practically begging for your to go over. Regulus was very annoyed, not even bothering to turn around and look at them.

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