Narrator's pov
-
Usually when we wake from our sleeps the next morning, we expect our day to go a bit better, we hope yesterday's misery stayed in the past
Afterall, it's a new day isn't it?
So why not have clean slate, a fresh start. Almost like popping out and popping back in a memory card
But as we all know, life doesn't work that way
And unfortunately for our little Katie, her misery made a guest appearance the next day
"Why do I do this to myself Beary?" Kate pouted as her eyes met the stuffed animal on her bed
His big black button eyes and pink thread cheek still wasn't enough to settle Kate's nerves from last night where she simply went up to bed, leaving Autumn and her ex below
The stabbing feeling in her heart and the heavy weight that felt like it rested on her small head, trying to drag her body down into the ground took over her when she saw Brooke running her fingers along Autumn's body
But the fact that Autumn did nothing about it just clenched her heart even more
So she left them, alone in the dark. She knew not of what happened afterwards, but she surely didn't want to find out
"Life is a blackhole that sucks up expectations and shits out reality" Kate groaned as she propped herself onto her elbows
"Let's just hope I have some energy left over to go through this day" She rolled her eyes and peeled the covers off her body
The hot water ran from the metal sprout, pushing the liquid courage out and daring Kate to step in and embrace the restart button of her life
The water trickled down her body, running down the nape of her neck and peppering kisses along her back done as she hung her head low, feeling the water raise into her hair
A simple shower was enough to reset the mind and bring in fresh emotions
Well, sometimes it worked because Kate still felt as if the heavy weight was on her body, moving to her throat and daring her to cry
What even was that pain she felt? She had no idea what they could have talked about last night or what they even did
She trusted Autumn
Right?
Surely the actress wouldn't go back on her word about wanting Kate, the girl who had nothing to offer except her heart. Why would Autumn want to give up the mere thought of getting back with a purple hair goodness who seemed to know her more than anyone else did
Unfortunately that's where Kate was wrong. No one knew Autumn, except her.
Hell, Autumn didn't even know herself yet Kate knew who she was and the path she was heading down
But this is a wattpad book and nothing goes to plan
Insecurities creep in and we falter out the positives with the negatives
We beat ourselves up because we're angry. Angry that we shouldn't feel jealous over a person we didn't claim, yet there it was. That feeling. That burning anger of anyone even being so close to them. The image of someone else's fingers, caressing their skin the way that you did drives you to another level of burning rage you hadn't experienced. But then again, why should we feel angry over someone we didn't claim?
Oh how we wished we had all of the answers. Someone to tell us that it was okay to feel, it was okay to crave and it was okay to want
But it was not okay to sit back and allow someone else to take what was yours
