Chapter-11

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Jackson

"That's a little feminine colour, babe" I murmur to Rosie, as she is sitting on my lap and painting my nails.

"No, purple isn't that feminine. It really goes with your personality." She says whilst applying a layer of nail paint with rapt attention.

"Why are we doing this by the way?" I ask.

"We are doing this because I am very bored." She says.

"So you overcome your boredom by making me look like an idiot?" I say, moving her hair aside and kissing her cheek.

"Hey just because you have your nails painted, does not mean you're an idiot."

"I'm a guy if you haven't noticed, babe."

"So? Where is it written that guys cannot paint their nails?" She asks, looking at me from sideways.

"Well, it's........ugh I don't know. I just know that I look like a stupid ass freak."

"But you're my freak, so it's okay." She says pecking my lips.

"No. You know what? If you're making me do this girl crap, then you gotta do some boyish crap too." I say, adjusting her on my lap so that she is straddling me.

"What do you want me to do now?" She asks, with a challenging smile.

"Hmm how about I teach you to ride my bike?"

"No! That bike frightens me in the first place. Moreover, I don't have a cycle balance. I am going to fall off that bike in no time." She says whilst brushing through my hair.

"Alright how about I teach you swimming?"

"Who said swimming is boyish? Anyways I was thinking we-"

"Can I kiss you?" I ask, out of the blue. She stops speaking midway and looks at me with amusement.

"Why do you have to ask? We kiss all the time." She says, blushing.

"What we do can't exactly be called a kiss. We just give each other a peck on the lips. I wanna really kiss you this time." I say, looking at her plump, pink lips.

"B-But I don't know how to do it otherwise." She stutters.

"It's really easy, just close your eyes, part your lips and imitate what I do." I say while pulling her flush against my chest.

"What if y-you don't like it?"

"There is absolutely nothing I cannot like about you, Rosie."

"Okay, I guess I am ready." She says while holding my shirt in a tight fist. She closes her eyes and does exactly what I had asked her to do. I bring my face closer to hers and kiss her. It takes a few seconds, but she catches up and imitates what I do. She moans into the kiss and starts kissing me harder.

Woah.

I never thought she could get this wild. She grabs me by my shoulders to get into a more comfortable position while I hold her face, tilting it to the side to kiss her better. A few moments later she pulls away, breathing heavily.

"Wow Jackson! That was........" She drifts away.

"Good?" I complete for her with a smirk.

"It was fantastic." She says giving me a shy smile.

"Did I do okay?" She asks.

"You did it way better than you think you did, pumpkin."

"Jackson....." she calls out to me in a low voice whilst crawling in my direction. I raise my hand to stop her.

"Don't, Rosie. Please don't come near me. I might end up hurting you again." I say, immediately getting up and heading towards the door.

"Jackson!" She calls me from behind, running towards me and holding my arm.

"LEAVE ME ROSIE!" I shout while pulling my arm away.

"DID YOU NOT SEE ME TRYING TO KILL YOU?" I yell out of frustration. She looks at me with tears cascading down her cheeks.

"It's alright Jackson. Everything is going to be fine." She says lowly while heading in my direction. As soon as she takes a step towards me, I take around five steps back.

"Nothing is okay. I was about to kill you." I whisper slowly.

"You didn't do it on purpose, Jackson. You know that it's not your fault, stop blaming yourself. I know that it wasn't you who choked me. You were having a nightmare." She says in a calm voice. I look into those big green orbs as if they were hypnotizing me. Rosie took advantage of the situation in the meantime and held my face. She kissed the corner of my lips before taking me into a hug.

"It's alright. You aren't alone in this. I'm there for you." She says in an assuring tone. I could feel my legs giving up, because of which I abruptly collapse on the floor, bringing Rosie with me. She kneels before me to match our height and places my head on her shoulder, gently stroking my hair.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I murmur.

"I know that, baby." She says kissing my temple. I could feel my own eyes stinging at this point. What has my life come to? I tried my best to not trigger myself, but whenever I do, I end being a pathetic mess. And today was no different, except, Rosie was here for me. She continues to stroke my hair and mumbles assuring words in my ear. I let out a deep sigh and lean into her touch while holding onto her for my dear life. Suddenly, I could feel the bile rising up my throat. I pull away from Rosie and rush towards the bathroom, emptying my stomach. As I was puking my brains out, I could feel a soft, delicate hand rubbing my back up and down. This day couldn't get any worse now. I almost killed Rosie, I broke down like a loser in front of her, I threw up almost everything that was in my stomach and now, my head hurts like a bitch.

"Why don't you take a shower? You'll feel better." She says. I nod my head, unable to speak and as soon as I do so, she leaves the bathroom, giving me privacy. I get up with the support of the wall and strip naked, getting into the shower. As I turned the knob to the other side, water droplets cascade down my head, to my body. I turn around, letting the water hit my back.

Well, let's just say I shouldn't have done that. As soon as the water hits my back, it triggered my PTSD and brought back one of the days I was tortured in the military.

My hands and legs were tied to each corner of a frame and my bare back was exposed to the great force of the water jutting out of the hose. It felt as if my back was being hit by a tonne of bricks. This went on for hours, till I had passed out of the excruciating pain.

"Shit!" I yell as I cut the water supply. Every fucking thing is traumatizing. I can't even take a simple shower without having to think about those dreadful days. I hold my head in my hands and breathe heavily. I hear a couple of knocks on my bathroom door before a muffled voice speaks up.

"Jack? Is everything alright?" She asks apprehensively. I slowly take the towel from the rack and tie it over my waist before opening the door. I look at my feet out of embarrassment, I just want to get over with this.

"I can't take a shower," I say, almost inaudibly. From the corner of my eye, I could see her giving me a sad, soft smile. She takes a step towards me and brushes her knuckles against my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into her touch, feeling completely foreign towards a warmth like this, especially receiving it after years. She places a chaste kiss on my cheek before asking,

"Is it okay if I help you?"

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