Guilty

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"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness." Marianne Williamson  

(Song: Christina perri-Jar of hearts)

There is a lot more to forgiving someone you love for a betrayal so deep it cuts your heart in half, forgiving someone that hurts you more is like forgiving the devil, the amount of time I have spent with him wasn't that much but I had grown to love him in those few days, but I guess I didn't really know him,  I feel that our love isn't strong enough to hold it together 

I know it might have been a little ridiculous for me to be so mad at him for screwing another woman while I was dead, but knowing that I was coming back and still doing it is something you can't help but wonder how much is his loyalty to me is, and to top it off the day that I came flying down from the sky, he was screwing her, that is why her smell was all over him, my family thinks I'm being a drama queen about this whole thing, but I'm not...

I'm hurt...

I laid Evangeline on her bed and tucked her in, she moved around a little bit but only to grab her stuffed animal then she went back to sleep, I looked at my beautiful daughter and how much she has grown, my heart ached at the thought of her growing up with out me for those five years  

"I'm here now, and I promise to always be here" I whispered caressing her hair she hugged her stuffed animal tightly and smiled 

"She really missed you" I looked up to see Daniel leaning on the door frame looking at us with a smile, I looked back at Evangeline my hand still caressing her hair  

"Good night my love" I whispered in her ear then I gave her a kiss on her fore head, I got off her bed and made my way towards the door were Daniel stood, he looked at me with a hopeful smile but I just walked past him with a blank face  

"When are you going to forgive me?" he ran over after closing the door, I stopped in my tracks and looked at him my face now showing my anger 

"Are you seriously asking me that?" he looked at me confused, he scratched the back of his neck   

"Uh, I wasn't suppose to ask?" I looked at him frustrated 

"Let me ask you something Daniel" he looked at me waiting for my question  

"Do you love me?" he answered with no hesitation 

"Yes"  

"Why do you love me?" this time he stopped, his mouth open and closed, and his brows furrow as if he was frustrated  

"What kind of question is that? Should I have a reason to love someone?" I didn't answer him, we stood there looking at each other silently a few minutes went by  

"I love you because you're the mother of my child, your beautiful, smart, and strong" he finally answered  

"Is that why you fell in love with me?" I could feel the tears threatening to come out  

"Yes" he answered with no hesitation again 

"When you figure out the real reason why you fell in love with me, then that will be the day I'll forgive you, but for now do whatever you want" I walked away trying to hold back my tears,  

Those reasons are very common, how can you fall in love with someone with looks and brains, and of Couse you got to love the woman that gave you a child but you need to know the real reason why you chose the one person to say, oh she's my future. she's my world. my everything 

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