Remain Nameless

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter universe belong to JK Rowling; no money is being made from this story.

Trigger warning for Chapter 1: Dark thoughts/brief mention of suicide

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January 2007

Tangled sheets and sweat, followed by sleeplessness and shivering. It would be dramatic stuff indeed if it weren't so commonplace these days. Draco Malfoy finally stopped trying to find a comfortable sleeping position and settled onto his back. Gray eyes opened and stared at the ceiling, counting handsome panels of an impeccably furnished bedroom. It was probably dawn, or close to it. He rolled over to grab his wristwatch off the mahogany side table. 4:46 in the morning. How nice of his nightmares to let him have a bit of a lie-in.

You could call him afraid of sleep if you wanted at this point, but he was in no hurry to try and slumber just now. He had just awoken from one of his absolute favorite trips down memory lane: the one where the Muggle Studies professor gets eaten by a giant snake on his family's dining room table, mere feet from him.

Draco threw his legs over the edge of his bed, and put his head in his hands between his knees. Deep breath. And another. And another. You're still breathing. You're still here. I am in control of this.

Dressed in a black suit for work and seated at the end of a long table, he found the energy to raise a cup of tea to his lips every few minutes. The impressive display of breakfast foods lay untouched before him. The house elves had, as they did every morning, clearly tried to entice him, but it was no use. Draco knew it would feel like ash in his mouth, and he wouldn't keep it down anyway.

He existed trance-like, lingering over a long-cold saucer of tea until past 7:30. Coffee. He could muster the energy for a good, strong cup of coffee. Keep your routine. I am in control of this.

The smell of freshly brewed hot coffee was one of the scents Draco recognized wafting out of the cauldron of Amortentia in Professor Slughorn's potions classroom from his Sixth Year. Of course, he'd had some slightly more pressing things on his mind that particular year, and so he'd completely forgotten all about it. That is until he stepped inside a Muggle café not far from where he'd reenter the magical world via Diagon Alley.

It had been a test of sorts, at first. Go out into the world. Spend some time among those different from you. You'll find people aren't so different after all. Draco had deemed this absolutely rubbish Healer advice at first, but then decided to take it as a challenge. Why the bloody hell should he be afraid of venturing outside the magical world? He knew firsthand there were far worse things to fear.

So instead of taking it as the lesson in expanding his horizons (as he was intended to), Draco meticulously planned out his first ever visit to a Muggle establishment four years ago.

He'd apparated to a nearby alley and strolled up and down the block. Familiarity and comfort lie only a few blocks ahead where the Muggle world ended and the magical world began at the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron, but Draco was determined. He had gone to Gringotts the week before and for the first time in his life, exchanged wizarding money for Muggle currency.

The café seemed innocuous enough. A busy morning shift, people dressed for work (he assumed) bustling in and out to get their caffeine fix. He'd also been careful to forego robes in favor of a plain suit. Obviously, Muggle Studies had not been a part of his education, but he knew enough to at least dress the part.

As soon as he'd stepped inside, the scent memory from his previous encounter with Amortentia hit him powerfully, and he actually smiled. The fresh coffee smelled so good, and try as he might at home over the next few weeks, neither he, nor the house elves, had been able to replicate the quality of the brew these Muggles came out with.