Is This Family?

Chapter 12: Trust

Katherine Wright

"I had a very interesting conversation.....with Brandon Cooper." These words shook the ground beneath me. I dropped my fork. Everyone was looking at me curiously. But I didn't dare looking up.

How does he know about him? What did he tell him? Does he know everything? Oh God this is bad. I was hyperventilating with anxiety.

"Do you want to tell them who he is?" Alex asked me.

"Well this is interesting." Silas whispered loud enough for us to hear.

Without thinking for another second u stood up and bolted. I reached my room and locked it and slid against it. And I started crying like the loser I am.

I heard everyone knocking on the door telling me to open the door and come out. Probably to kick me out.

"Katherine I swear open the door or I'll break it." Leo shouted. I was scared.

"Alex what the fuck is going on? Why is she behaving like this? And who the fuck is Brandon guy?" Silas shouted.

"Okay everyone relax. Just. OKAY SHUT THE FUCK UP." Alex screamed.

"Get out I'll talk to her okay." He said again.

I could listen the retrieving footsteps.

"Kat. I know you can hear me. Just listen to me okay. I dont know the fully story I just know what you are going through. I know you are in pain. You dont trust us. I get it. I am not gonna give up on you. I'm gonna help you. But for that you have to let me in. You don't have to be insecure. Nobody is going to throw you out. You are in YOUR house with YOUR own family. We can talk about this. I have your back and I promise I will never let go even if you want me to. I haven't told anyone else about this and I wont. We all will wait till you will come out of that door and tell yourself. For now just say something please. Just let me know you are okay."

I sniffed my nose. For once in my lifetime I wanted to trust someone. I didn't want to be depressed I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be loved and taken care of. Right there I made a decision.

"Okay. I I will tell everything. Just give me some time."

"You can take as much time as you want. We will be downstairs waiting patiently for you."

I sat there for hours. Thinking about what to do now. My every thought led me to only one thing. And that was me trusting them. I had to do this. Damn the consequences. I cant put it off anymore. For once in my life I had to be strong for myself. I had to come in terms with my issues.

I stood up, washed my face and made my way towards the door. I prayed to God, kissed my cross that hung around my neck and made my way downstairs.

All eyes were on me now. I expected them to shout on me and punish me for disobeying them. But they seemed eerily calm as if they were purposely waiting for me and wanted me to tell them something. I took a seat in the center such that all of them could face me. I would much rather prefer a line corner but I knew that was not gonna happen. I started looking at Alex.

"I dont know how much Brandon told you but he too doesn't know all of this. I think that I should be the one telling you further and not him. He can exaggerate sometimes. But I'm not gonna hold any thing back now. I wont sugarcoat anything. I'm not doing this because I want some sick attention or pity party. Back there Alex told me that I could trust you all and this is my way to show that I'm trying to trust you all but it's not my strongest suit.
From as back as I can remember my life was just empty. All it has ever consisted of is ignorance and pain and betrayal. The first ever picture I drew was a happy picture. It showed a small girl on a bicycle. Her father was holding her trying to teach her. Her mother sat under a tree making food for them. It was bright and sunny. They were having a beautiful picnic. It was a decent picture for a 4 year old. I went to my mom to show it to her thinking she would be proud of me and maybe if I was lucky she would hug me. But instead she shouted on me calling me names that I was too innocent to understand. I was mad. Not at her but the picture I drew. So I tore it and burned it on the stove. My mother shouted on me for everything. So I kept destroying all the things that made her angry. Until one day I realized that it was not the things that made her angry it was me. So me being the pathetic person I am I thought that if I destroyed myself maybe then she'll love me. But I was still very small to know how to do it. Something I loved was to watch TV. It wasn't like I had much of a choice. So I learned to make peace with it. The night of my ultimate realization they were showing some program where a guy was ran over by a car. I didn't knew back then about death. Mom wasn't home that time. I was alone at home. So I opened the door and went out. It wasn't a busy day. Only 2 or 3 people were around. I saw the road empty. But then I saw a car so I walked to the middle of the road and lied down. But the person driving saw me soon enough and applied brakes in time. He came out soon. He thought I was crossing the road and I fell. He asked me why was I alone. But i didn't answer. He didn't call the police maybe cuz he didn't want to get himself in trouble. That was my first suicide attempt without me even knowing it.
As time passed by I just sat around the corner and saw other people living happy lives. Kids my age got hugs and kisses. I on the other hand got compliments. Slut. Whore. Dirty. Disappointment. Ugly bitch. Fatass. Filthy weakling. I waited for days, months, years even to just get a little bit of love. By the time I was eight I had given up. I had no friends. I was told nobody wants ugly friends. So I accepted that too. I made every possibly humane effort to win others approval. Because that's all that mattered. I was good at studies and art. My school made me participate in all that stuff. I won every single one of them. I would work till the brink of exhaustion. For what? Medals, certificates, appreciations basically anything that I thought would make my mother happy. But nothing ever did made her happy. One day I just had enough. The medals which were to remind me of my hardwork and passion now only reminded me of my mother's rejection. So I collected them in a plastic bag and threw them into a dumpster. And I'd did that every other after that. The same night I climbed up the rooftop and wanted to jump. But I couldn't.
As I grew up I thought that I should just give my mom some time. Stupid me believed when someone said and I quote' Time heals all wounds'. By the time I was 10, I realized that there was no wound in the first place. My mother's hatred couldn't be treated because it wasn't a disease it was her true nature. When we were told to write essays on mother or father or family I lied beautifully. I was a creative liar. Everyone believed me. I kept it that way. I was a fully independent person by the age of 10. I made my hair. I learned to cook enough to survive. Did everything by myself not wanting to be a burden on my mother.
When I was 12 I realized that I was depressed. I had been depressed all my life but i just wasn't ready to accept it. So I tried committing suicide. Again. My school had a swimming pool for seniors. Nobody used it during lunch break. I couldn't swim. So I decided to drown. I jumped. And it was horrible. It was the worst way to die for me. I struggled I dont know why. I was finally tired. I could feel my eyes closing. My oxygen supply was cut. I was relieved. It was finally over. But much to my dismay a guy swooped in and saved my life. The school authorities thought I slipped and that it wasn't an accident. One more failed attempt.
When I turned 14 I was way too deep in pain. My life was a complete downward spiral and I was just waiting to hit rock bottom. And one day I did. Or at least I thought I did. I had decided to slit both of my wrists. I had a blade in my school locker. I went to a secluded area of the school where the seniors used to smoke cigarettes. Something I hated. But still I decided to choose that spot because I wanted my worthless life to end there, somewhere I hated because there was no place I loved. I saw no one there. Just the perfect time. I took out the blade and positioned it on my wrist. I had just pierced a little bit of my skin when suddenly a pair of hands stopped me. It was Brandon. He took the blade and threw it away. I pushed him. He stumbled and I took off. He told me to stop but I didn't. The next day our principal made an announcement that according to government guidelines it was compulsory for the school to have a school counselor. And that we would see him around. I didn't knew his name back then. Soon he called me to see him in his office. I went and saw that he was the same guy who stopped me Dr. Brandon Cooper. He made me his first mental suicidal patient of the school. In the beginning I would just try to ignore him. I never showed up when he asked me to. So then he wrote me down and now it was the principal's order that I had to see him at least twice a week. I had no other choice. I was his ultimate mission. So I started acting out. I became rebellious. He kept on questioning me about my life but I never answered. So one day he told me his side of the story. He had gotten married to his husband 2 years ago and they had adorable a girl just over a year ago. They were a happy family. His husband was from Australia. They lived in Chicago. His husband took his daughter to meet his family. Brandon couldn't go. His husband and daughter were on their way back to Chicago when their plane crashed and they both passed away leaving Brandon all alone. He felt like dying too but he said that God had other plans. So he decided to move to Australia to live with his husband's family who adored Brandon a lot. He said living in Australia made him feel more connected to his husband. I realized how he felt love and then it was ripped off from him. Whereas I never felt love in the first place. He told me how he saw his dead daughter in me. He told me how the thought of helping me kept him motivated. I was moved. I told him about me. My life. My pain. How I was stripped off of any beautiful emotion that was ever felt. Love. Friendship. Care. Happiness. But then he showed me something in me. He said I wasn't stripped off of hope that there is always hope. He showed me God. His power. How god always has a plan. He gifted me this cross I'm wearing. My first ever gift. All we talked about was God. Not in a religious way but in a spiritual way. He told me that God loved me because even after so many efforts he had kept me alive. I thought the other way around. I thought that God didn't love me so he wanted to keep me on earth. So that I was away from him too. But i learned to love God. Brandon told me that we were in this together. He always referred to my problems as ours. 2 days before my mother died he told me something. He wanted to adopt me from my mom. He said how a lawyer friend of his could help us. Even though my mom hated me I loved her. And I knew one thing that if this goes out my mom was gonna get arrested and end up in jail. And I didn't want that. So we got into a fight. I left his office and promised myself to never come back. I wasn't gonna put my mom in jail to live a happy life.
At some point I also realized how much I had missed out on my life. I had missed 14 birthdays. 14 Christmas. Summer vacations. Holidays with family. Dinners. No nice food. No chocolates..No hugs. No kisses. No getting fed by someone you love. No love at all. All of this was possible if I had said yes to Brandon adopting me. Katherine Cooper would sound odd but nothing I couldn't live with. I hated myself for even considering that. I was selfish. I saw my mother leave that day. She pushed me into the wall and left. I never thought that my last encounter with my mother was at that moment.
When the police came, they told me how my mom had died while going to the airport where she was gonna flee country with her boyfriend. I had no clue. She was finally leaving me on my own.
That's pretty much it. I may have missed out something. But I think I covered most of it. After listening all of this knowing how messed up I am its totally okay if you want to kick me out. It doesn't have to get messy you just have to say the word."

I raised my head to saw all of them having tears in their eyes. Including Silas and Leo.

Suddenly Leo stood up and approached me with anger. I thought he was gonna hit me. So I bought my hands in front of my face as a feeble effort to protect myself from 150 pounds pure muscle. But what he did next shocked me.

He hugged me. And I hugged him back.

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Hello readers. Long ass chapter. So Brandon mystery finally unfolded. I'm sorry if you thought he was the boyfriend. Showing Kat with a boyfriend wouldn't create an impact of being alone and unhappy which was currently the nature of Kat's character.
Leo hugged Kat. I mean tell me about it!
In the next chapter I'm gonna write each of their POVs for the better understanding of their character and to see how devastating this revelation was for them.
Also who loves Brandon? I am in love with him. Also do you want me to move him to London so that we can see more of him. Please share your thoughts with me. It would be really helpful.
Also 900+reads. I'm so happy
Vote please cause it's a really low count. Common you just have to tap on the star below.
Lots of love
Writer