Don't Tell My Brother

Chapter 19 - Second

Mark eyed Lucas with suspicion as he slowly closed the door behind himself.

"Who?" Lucas asked, buying himself time as he frantically tried to figure out how pissed off Mark was. He realised he was still smiling, and quickly let the expression drop, trying for something more confused.

"Damien. Damien Castillo. You know who he is because I've been playing football against him for years, I hate the guy, and he just dropped you off. On his motorbike. After dark."

And people said he was the uptight one. Lucas decided to go on the defensive. "After dark? I'm not a baby, Mark. I'm allowed be out after dark."

"With him?" Mark scowled at the door, as if he could burn a hole right through it to where Damien had stood. "I don't like the sound of that."

"You don't, do you?" Lucas felt whatever giddy happiness that had followed his through the door fade as anger rose to take its place. "Well good thing I don't need your approval to leave the house."

Even though Mark was only a few minutes older, he'd always insisted on treating Lucas like a kid. It was sometimes a little endearing, but more often a painful reminder that Mark was the bigger, better, more experienced one, the one who had to look out for his awkward, shy, embarrassment of a brother. Lucas was sick of it.

"Look, I'm just worried for you. He's not a good guy, and-"

"Why? Because he beats you at football? As if I care about any of that." Lucas winced internally. It'd come out harsher than he'd expected. He wanted to calm things down, end this conversation, but he could feel his ears burning as his face grew hot.

"No, because he's an asshole!" Mark said, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Lucas, I'm fine with you being gay and all, but gay with him?"

"I'm not going to be 'gay with him', oh my god. Don't say things like that." And then, after a moment, "Is he gay? Or bi, or something?" Mark seemed worried, which might mean that there was a chance Damien swung his way, right? Was he being ridiculous? Suddenly, it seemed rather important that he knew.

Mark shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. It makes sense, he'd go for anything that looked at him twice."

"That's not how bisexuality works."

Mark had the decency to look a little abashed, glancing down. "Yeah, okay. I know. He might be. But that's not the point, Lucas. He only cares about himself. This is probably a joke, or something. He's just using you to get to me. To piss me off, maybe."

And that was when Lucas felt something inside him snap. Mark might have been half a foot taller than him and a fair few pounds heavier, but Lucas would have loved nothing more than to sink his fist into that stupid, blonde head.

"Right, because someone would only ever like me because I'm related to you."

Mark took a step back. "Lucas, wait, that's not-"

"That's what you said. That it's a joke, or some plan to get to you. Because everything's about you, isn't it? There's no way that anyone would like me, no, it's got to somehow be because they want you. You've always got to be the best, always everyone's first choice, and as soon as someone shows any sort of interest in me you can't handle it! I am second to you every single day of my life! You don't think I know people like you more? You don't think I'm tired of being 'Mark Sawyer's brother'?"

Lucas was breathing heavily, and he'd taken anther step towards Mark. Mark, inexplicably, was backing away, as if the sheer force of Lucas' anger was pushing him down the hallway. It felt like a dam had burst inside him, and all of this was pouring out after years of silence. His anger was spilling out, all over Mark and the walls and the nice cream carpet of the hallway. Once he'd started, he couldn't stop.