"Worthless" (Catradora HS Au)

Hospital

Adora's POV

I arrived at school Friday morning to find Catra ignoring me. Like she had done the previous day. Wow I really fucked up bad huh? After our argument on Wednesday she didn't speak a word to me.

Good job Adora. You drove away the one friend that you had. Why do I keep fucking up? Why am I such a mess?

I felt nauseous already. The bullies didn't bother me yesterday, they found a better target than me it seems. Some skinny blonde kid. Poor kid. At least they won't bother me until they get bored of him. No, they're not the reason I felt nauseous today, although the thought of them didn't help.  No, the anxiety from the situation with Catra and the amount of food I've been eating recently was the most likely cause.

Speaking of which, I skipped breakfast this morning. Mom and dad were too busy fighting to notice. I haven't been eating well, I know. I'm an athlete, I should be eating more than average people. Not less. What Mrs. Weaver says is stupid.

Right?

But adults know best. And this is literally her job. If she doesn't know, then who does? I believe her. She raised Catra, she can't be bad right? 

Although Catra did behave strangely-

No. You're just imagining things. She's fine, and Mrs. Weaver is a competent adult. She's trying to help. I'm just a selfish teen trying to eat more than she should and I don't need that much food.

Besides, there were all those times the bullies called me fat. It's not just Mrs. Weaver saying those things. I thought they were lying but their insults always contain some level of truth so they must be telling the truth.

The mirror is confusing. Sometimes I look skinny, sometimes I look fat. I don't know what to trust. Definitely not myself, since I apparently don't see the actualities. Mrs. Weaver I can trust.

Right?

With all these thoughts, I didn't notice the lesson starting. The day passed almost uneventfully, just going to lessons, drinking water for lunch. After lunchtime, it was time for the first lesson today that I shared with Catra.

I was starting to feel a headache forming. I entered the classroom in hopes that Catra would talk to me. She was in a corner, looking at her phone. When I entered her eyes darted up for a second but then immediately became fixed on her phone once again.

Oh. Okay.

I could feel the headache become worse as the lesson dragged on. Not to mention I was feeling tired and nauseous. It come as a surprise to no one (except everyone who couldn't see what I was feeling so basically everyone other than me) when I came crashing to the ground.

And everything went black.

Catra's POV

I felt bad for shouting at her. I can see that it hurt her. She didn't deserve that. She was just trying to be a good friend.

Shit. Why am I so bad at this? I honestly don't know what I was trying to do. I don't know why I shouted. 

I just want her to stay away from me until I'm fine again. That way, she won't learn anything, and I won't burden her with my problems. And I won't hurt her. Like I always do.

Mother was right. I am poison. I hurt those around me. I always hurt those around me. It's better this way.

But this is hurting her too. Fuck. I shouldn't have shouted, I shouldn't have left her alone. I should talk to her.

And I will. I just need a few days to feel better so I don't fuck up again.

When I noticed her enter the math class my eyes instinctively went to her face. I focused on my phone instead. Don't look at her. Just ignore and pretend you're mad and apologize on Monday or the weekend over text or something. 

She sat in the front while I sat at the back. Which meant I could watch her all class. Which is why I was the first to notice when she fainted. I was frozen in shock, so was the teacher. Some random green haired jock and blonde boy went running to the nurse and school administration. Before I knew it Adora was in an ambulance to the hospital.

Fuck. What happened?

Is it my fault?

I couldn't get out of school to see her. I would have ditched had it not been for mother knowing what had happened to her. If I went to see her she would have found me and I really did not want another punishment. 

Thankfully the school ended early on Fridays. Which meant that I only had to suffer one more lesson. As soon as it ended I ran out to get a taxi to the hospital. When I arrived I saw the doctors having a conversation with who I'm assuming was her parents. I arrived just in time to hear the important part.

"-she hasn't been eating well. We suspect it's from having a lot of schoolwork and not enough time. It's quite common in hard-working teens, and she said that too. No need to get worried, just tell her she needs to eat 3 full meals a day she will do it. (Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional this is probably not how they would react.)

What. The fuck. She hasn't been eating well?

That bathroom breaks. No, no way. It can't be what I think. I shouldn't assume something before asking her.

She was declared safe condition, just had fainted due to low blood sugar, so they allowed visitor. I entered her room to find her sitting on the bed with a half eaten hospital food tray.

"Hey" I muttered awkwardly.

Upon seeing me her eyes went wide. Then she smiled.

"Catra?"

"I'm sorry I shouted. You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, no, I pushed when you were clearly uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong though, I'm the one who should be sorry."

"I still shouldn't have pushed that much."

"Have you been feeling guilty? Adora I swear, it was my fault entirely. I snapped at you when you hadn't done anything. I'm sorry"

And after a while of arguing she finally accepted my apology. We spent time chatting until I had to go home before my curfew. I made it home on time this time.