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casterly rock, house lannister the westerlands
JAIME FELT GUILTY AS HE LOOKED AT THE SLEEPING FIGURE BESIDE OF HIM. Joanna's breath were heavy and he knows that if he left now she would not wake. That night had been unexpected, he remembered every detail. How her gentle hands managed to calm him, her soft body making him warm. He let out a sigh as he ran a hand down his face, the regret filling him. He had taken advantage of her, he did not want her, not even as lust. He had taken her for Cersei. Always Cersei.
When his father had told him calmly that he was going to make Cersei marry the king. He had felt his face heat up from fury, refusing the idea. His lovely and beautiful twin be sold off to the drunken baratheon king? No. When he knew it was a lost cause he was upset, not daring to go inside his sisters room. But it was Joanna who found him crying inside their rooms. She was calm, her only need to calm him down and tell her his worry.
Jaime stood up and grabbed his tunic which laid on the floor, he grabbed the breeches that laid on the chair beside the small table. He gave another sigh as he looked outside to find the sun already up, sunlight coming through the red curtains. He looked back at Joanna, her breaths still heavy with sleep. He noticed the blanket was slowly falling off her shoulder, exposing her bare front. He slowly walked towards her and put the blanket over her shoulder. He studied her, her small frame rotating from the breaths she took, long dark hair that laid over the bed and some strands on her face. He brushed the strands of curls away and stood up and walked out of the chamber.
✧
"Tell me Cersei, do you want your marriage with Robert to go through,". Jaime questioned angrily, standing in front of Cersei as she had her back to him, taking a sip from her wine. Jaime felt himself grow more aggravated as she refused to answer. "Do you?"
Cersei turns around, now having her face towards his. Her lips turn into a cruel smirk. "Brother, I finally get my wish. I get to be a Queen, just like I was supposed to be. Rhaegar did not want me but Robert wants."
Jaime scoffed at his sisters's words. "Do you think it was Robert who requested to marry you? It was Jon Arryn, the man behind all King Robert's decisions. Robert is still in love with Lyanna Stark."
Cersei scowls at the name, a disgusted frown at the end of her lips. Cersei had wanted to be Queen, and when Rhaegar passed by his wife Elia, she was sure he would put the crown of winder roses on her head, yet he did not and passed even her, the beauty of the seven kingdoms and put it on the she wolf instead. Jaime knew his twin very well, and even if she cared for Jaime, she would always care for being a Queen more.
"Even so, Jaime. I will be Queen. And after time Robert will care for me," Jaime didn't say anything, his hands in a tight grip, forcing himself not to lash out at her. She was being stupid, naive, she did not know the king as Jaime did. He had laughed at the bodies of the Targaryen children, spitting on them and calling them dragonspawn.
Cersei walked closer to him, their noses nearly touching, her breath on his face. She looked at his eyes in a seductive way that made Jaime felt the hardness in his breeches. Gods, every time he was mad at her, he could never stay that way. She leaned in, her breath now on his ear, "Well, are you going to fuck me or not, dear brother?"
That was it. Jaime grabbed Cersei and lifted her on the desk, knocking the wine on the floor. Jaime kissed her as hard as he could, refusing to let Cersei think of any man other then himself.
His poor wife not once on his mind.
✧
Jaime woke hours later with a pounding headache, eyes blinking as he adjusted the bright light. It was still morn, he noted. He looked to the side to find his sister laid out sleeping, a lazy arm over his stomach. Jaime closed his eyes, feeling disappointed at himself. While he did not love his wife, he cared for her. She did not deserve this.
Ever since Jaime and Cersei were small, they were constantly by each other, finding it amusing that the servants never could make them apart. Those days were gone. Gone was a happy and smiling Cersei, and gone were a immature little lording wanting to be a knight. They simply grew, but it seemed like they never could grow from their old habits.
Later the day, he ordered a maid to bring Joanna a white rose, hoping to ease himself the guiltiness.
✧
They stood outside Casterly Rock, horses and guards ready to take their leave. Jaime and his father was to accompany Cersei to King's Landing for her to wed the King. Joanna would be left here, for she truly had not reason to attend the wedding. Jaime noted how upset she had been once he told her, he knows she wished to come, to meet her brother and family once more. But his father was still alive, so Jaime could naught do anything.
Jaime said his farewells, promising to come back soon, although wanting to spend as long time in King's Landing as possible to be with Cersei. Alas, he would try nevertheless.
He took her hand and planted a small kiss,"I will return soon, my Lady." She had given him a small smile that didn't reach her eyes and gave him her farewells.
Then they were off. Not knowing when he was going to return.
