"because when tears fall, it isn't a nightmare anymore."
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Christy would be lying if she said she didn't feel a pang of guilt when she closed the curtains around her bed the following morning. Remus was still sleeping in the astronomy tower so she took her chance, and left while she could.
There was simply no way she could face the others, she felt so incredibly overwhelmed, with coming back to hogwarts, reality of her family settling in. It was just too much.
She laid on her bed, staring blankly at the canopy above herself, eyes glazed over, suffocating inside her own head.
That's where she laid as Lily came to tell her about her day, all the while remaining silent, showing no means of acknowledgment that she'd heard anything at all.
That's where she laid when Sirius brought her dinner, all of her favourite foods, but it remained untouched.
That's where she laid when James brought her hot herbal tea before bidding her goodnight.
That's where she laid for two whole days.
"Hi teeny, it's Sirius." he said gently, pulling back the curtains. "I er... I brought this." he placed a copy of Alice in Wonderland on her bedside table.
"Thank you." she whispered.
He could have done a double take. "Christina?" he said disbelievingly. "Sirius." she sat up, leaning against the headboard.
"Merlin Christy." he smothered her in an embrace, "Never ever do that to me again." he whispered desperately into her hair.
"I'm so sorry Sirius." she stared down at her lap. "It's okay teeny, it's okay, i'll always wait for you. Always."
"Don't. Don't wait" "I care about you, of course i'll wait. Screw that, I'm here, right here all the way Teeny." he choked back a sob. "Don't you get it?! I'm broken Sirius!" she cried, leaping up, "I've got no family, my sister and my parents are dead! They're gone Sirius, and they're never coming back!"
He looked at her. His bright, optimistic, ray of sunshine, was no where to be seen. Just a shell of his best friend stood before him.
"Why aren't you crying?" he whispered, almost afraid of the answer.
"I get it." she laughed humourlessly, "You think I'm not feeling anything, you think i'm not hurting?" she yelled.
