The Mafia's Heirs

39. You Okay?

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"So, how are you?" Alessia asked as she combed her luscious brown waves, walking into her room from the bathroom.

"I am good." River shrugged, leaning back on the headrest of her bed.

It was some eleven in the night and while Adam and Mateo were still working, Alessia and she had decided to spend some time on our own. The twins were asleep and hence would have to wait till the morning to meet their aunt.

River knew that staying up was a bad idea considering she didn't get much sleep the last night as well but she had decided that she really didn't want to get used to comfortable and long sleep because though she didn't know when, she had to go back to being an underpaid overworking surgeon someday and it would be agonizing switching to her totally unhealthy sleep pattern again.

"Jeez woman, you are so calm." Alessia said, looking at her through the mirror. "It's like you were born into this world or something."

River gave her a half smile. She didn't think she would be okay with the Mafia and any of this even if she was. She was a mother and her little squirrels were involved in whatever was happening and that scared her. But she tried her best not to let it show because that wasn't helping in anyway and it got in the way of her logical thinking.

"Not really. Just trying to keep a poker face." She flipped through the channels on the TV. "Because the kids catch up on my mood very quickly."

"Hey.." Alessia climbed on to the bed and scooted close to her, taking her hand between hers, squeezing it. "It's going to be just fine."

River nodded and gave her a grateful smile. "Yeah."

"So why don't the kids know that Mateo is their Papa yet?" Alessia asked, snatching the remote control from River.

River sighed again. She was doing that a lot these days. Sighing and worrying and over-thinking.

"I keep telling myself it's because I want them to be familiar with him before I do so." River told her.

"But that's not true?" Alessia prodded.

River pursed her lips and turned to face her. "I don't know Alessia."

"One, call me Sia. And two, why?"

'I don't know.' River thought miserably. Why didn't she want Mateo to know?

The more she thought about it, her resolve to keep it from the kids wavered but even still, she was reluctant to tell them... just because, she really didn't think it was the right time. Waiting for the kids to get over their fear and familiarize with him was a factor but that was not the only reason, and what was ridiculous was that – even she couldn't pinpoint what the main reason was.

"I don't know. Honestly." River sighed lying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling. "I just feel that it's not time yet."

"And what if it's too late by the time you do?"

River turned to her, feeling the lump in her throat.

"That's what you are scared of, isn't it?" Alessia looked at the surgeon she had started to respect, a sympathetic look on her flawless face.

Her words rung in her ears.

It was not about her being too late to let them know. It was about how her kids will handle it if something happened to Mateo after they learn that he was indeed their Papa.