COMPLETED - 100 Ways To Say I Love You - Malec

37 - Can I Kiss You

"Magnus!" Alec screeched, "Seriously? Tonight?"

"I haven't throw a proper party in ages, Alexander!" Magnus cried back, "My reputation is going to be toast if I don't throw one soon!"

"Yeah?" Alec was fuming, "The one weekend I have off from work, you're throwing a party and I'll have to deal with your hungover mess and everyone else's puke tomorrow morning!"

"I chose this weekend so that you'd attend!"

"Well, have you met me?" Alec snapped back, "Because I hate parties so I don't know why you chose the weekend I have off!"

Magnus made to move towards Alec; he had not seen Alec this annoyed in quite a while and he was a bit worried and a tad angry at his boyfriend too. It was only a small party, he did not understand why Alec was so mad.

But Alec seemed really mad. When Magnus gently placed his hand on Alec's arms, Alec flinched away.

"Have fun at the party, Magnus," Alec whispered before storming out of the loft. 

Yes, Alec was annoyed. But it was more of a insecure feeling that wound around him when Magnus was at parties: the way he fluidly danced with everyone, the way everyone undressed Magnus with their eyes and frankly the way everyone tried to seduce or flirt with him. It annoyed Alec that Magnus wouldn't even try stop someone when they flirted with him, sometimes, probably subconsiously, Magnus even flirted back which made Alec's heart ache.

So that was why he now bounded to the Institute and went into the kitchen, to find Jace and Clary looking at each other with love-y eyes. Alec immediately thought of Magnus and was about to sharply turn away when Jace caught at his arm.

"What's up, Alec?" Jace inquired, "I thought you were spending time with Magnus."

"Magnus is busy tonight," Alec lied, "I just came here to maybe train or something."

"I'll come," Jace offered, "We can do some sparring."

Alec looked at Clary and Jace waved it away along with Clary.

"You two go ahead," Clary smiled, "I have a drawing to complete anyway."

"Do you need a nude model?" Jace asked. 

Alec found himself smiling as he gave Jace a friendly punch and as Clary shot him a look of amusement and exited the kitchen. The brothers went onto to train and time went by quick. It was somehow already nine when Jace and Alec gave each other a hug, ignoring the fact they were both sweaty. And then Alec went back to the loft, hoping Magnus had called off the party.

Magnus had not. In fact, the loft had many Downworlders and it was covered in the smell of them dancing and drinking and vomitting. Alec bit back the urge to retch at the horrendous smell. He made to go inside and his ears picked up whispers of his Nephilim heritage, whispers of Magnus' 'latest disaster' and so on.

He ignored them and headed towards Magnus' voice. Magnus was in the corner, sitting on a sofa with a vampire woman dangerously close to him. He had a drink in hand and was talking to the vampire woman with exaggerated gestures.

A slow song came on and Alec heard the vampire and Magnus talking.

"Dance, Magnus?" the woman requested, standing up.

"Of course, darling," Magnus said and Alec, though he knew Magnus meant nothing by it, felt his heart clench at the word 'darling'. Magnus then stood up and took the vampire woman's hand in his before placing a light kiss on her knuckles like any gentleman would do. And then they were dancing. Alec turned away, but not before he caught Magnus' eyes. 

Alec looked down, his heart racing. Alec had walked out and Magnus had not even cared, he had simply carried on with the party like nothing had happened. And then he felt Magnus' touch on his hands and shook away from Magnus.

"Alexander, come on, darling," Magnus said sweetly, looking to hold Alec's hand. Alec pulled away.

"Don't call me that," Alec hissed, for some reason feeling tears sting in his eyes. He then ran to their bedroom, the only section that was closed off in the party and fell onto the bed, crying. He didn't know why he was jealous. No, he wasn't jealous. Just insecure that Magnus would leave him. And he had no idea how to ever tell that to Magnus.

Magnus stood, with wide eyes and stared after Alec, who disppeared into their bedroom. Magnus had thought that Alec would return, all jovial, and that they would have a decent time at the party. He did not know that this party had pushed Alec to the point of crying. 

Magnus screamed, "PARTY'S OVER. GET LOST!"

Everyone looked taken aback but when Magnus' fingers glowed with magic, they all obliged at left the house. Magnus then slowly entered the bedroom.

"Darling?" Magnus spoke slowly.

"I said don't call me that!" Alec shouted and his voice was hoarse.

"Okay, okay," Magnus said quickly, "Alexander?"

He made his way over and slowly sat down beside Alec who was trembling as tears flowed from his eyes. Magnus warily wrapped his hands around Alec and he felt it when Alec could no longer fight. Instead, Alec leaned into Magnus and sobbed. Magnus held on.

When Alec had calmed down, Magnus whispered, "What's wrong, sweetheart? What brought this on?"

And when the truth came tumbling out of Alec, Magnus felt a shock go through him.

"I'm sorry, Magnus. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It's just in every party we attend, when you talk to someone else or dance with them, I don't know why, but I just feel broken. Everyone at these parties are better than me, they're all Downworlders and dating them would be an easier option for you and you wouldn't have to be so careful with them because you wouldn't be their first and I - I just - I don't know. I feel trivial among these people and I'm just really scared you're going to leave. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you did, but th - that's why I was so iffy about the whole party thing. I'm so sorry, Magnus."

Magnus realised why Alec didn't want his calling him 'darling'. Because he had heard Magnus call that vampire woman the exact same name. Everything made more sense to Magnus as he gripped Alec tighter.

"Oh, da- Alexander," Magnus whispered, "Don't ever feel that way, my angel. To me, no one can ever be better than you. I know I love parties and enjoy dancing et cetera, but that doesn't make you trivial. And you don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry I haven't talked about this with you. And the fact I'm your first doesn't change anything. And I'm not going to leave you. I'll never leave you, Alec. You're my Alec and nothing will ever change that, okay?"

Alec gave a small nod.

"And no more parties from now on, I promise," Magnus added and Alec smiled. Small, uncertain but hopeful.

"Magnus?" Alec asked quietly.

"Yes? What is it, honey?" Magnus prompted.

"Can I kiss you?"

Alec's voice broke as he said the sentence and so did Magnus' heart.

"Come here," Magnus muttered as he pulled Alec towards him and kissed him. Alec was slightly crying through the kiss but Magnus did not care. He only cared about being there for Alec, he only cared about holding Alec as both of them lied down on the bed, Alec curling himself into Magnus' side and holding one of Magnus' hands in his tightly. Magnus gently kissed Alec's forehead.

"My Alec," Magnus whispered once again and Alec pressed himself closer to Magnus before falling asleep. Magnus watched as Alec slept, watched at the wonder that was Alec, his Alec, before he too slipped into sleep.

A/N That was meant to be happier. I swear. But I seem to like writing angst so there you go. I hope you enjoyed nevertheless; please comment, vote and share!

Love y'all, IC XXXXX ❤