just for you (years 5-7)

chapter 14

i was his first

it takes me a whole week to fully process it. i- i had always assumed. i mean look at him. but no, i was his first. i don't know why he never told me-

well, i guess we weren't together for long after.

it's a weird week... after the party. he's not mean to anymore, but he's not particularly friendly either. he's started to laugh at my jokes again. daphne reminds me it's the bare minimum

"what so he fucks you and then everything's fine?"

"daphne-"

"well you can forgive him but i won't-"

"i don't forgive him, i'm just giving him a chance-"

"that sounds like forgiving him-"

"daphne-"

"is he really that good? that everything else he's done doesn't matter?"

"it does matter! it's not like we've done anything since" i lie, not telling her about the following night in the common room, "i'm just saying- things seem better between us- i don't know. maybe i'm being stupid-"

"oh you're definitely being stupid-"

"daphne-"

"fine. continue" she sits on her bed, crossing her arms and looking up at me

i clear my throat, "well, i mean- if we can repair what... little bit of a relationship we have left... he might tell me. i'm not going to get anywhere by being rude to him. he needs- he needs someone to care about him right now. whatever the hell he's going through isn't going to be helped by me icing him out. i know he thinks it will be better- if he just wallows in self pity- but it won't be, obviously, and if i can show him that...." i pause, "i don't know. but i can't just let him go"

daphne pauses, for once in her life seeming to not have the words to respond

she sighs, "i hate it when you have a point" i laugh and she looks back up at me, a smile on her face, "but if he fucks you over again-"

"i know i know" i nod, "then you have full permission to kill him"

she chuckles, holding out her hand, "deal" i shake it with a smile

a tapping comes on the window, pulling our focus towards it

"is that...?"

"draco's owl" i say quietly, letting my hand slip from daphne's so i can walk over to the window, pulling it open. perseus flies inside, dropping a letter on my bedside table and soaring out. daphne and i both stare at the letter in silence for a minute, before i quickly grab it and tear it open

astronomy tower, after dinner? need to talk

-d.m.

i read the sentence aloud to daphne and then look up, meeting her eyes

"well, we better get to dinner"