Blair Silver

Part 29: Maybe

I go inside my house, feeling oddly lighter than I have for the past few days. Maybe because I'm in denial and believe that maybe everything will turn out alright for Blair and I.

I go into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. Maybe I feel lighter because I'm so dehydrated. I'm about to go to my room and call Jillian, but Charlotte stops me. She's sitting at the kitchen table, giving me an accusatory look.

"You've been crying," she accuses.

I shrug. I don't really want to have a conversation about this with her. She's very persistent once she gets started.

"I saw that car outside for a while. Did you break up?"

I do appreciate her not specifically mentioning any pronouns in relation to the breaking up. If my parents- well, my mom- heard her saying anything even remotely implying a relationship, I'd be grilled for hours until I either lied convincingly about a girlfriend or told the truth, but I still appreciate it. And she's keeping her voice down enough that my mom, who is in the basement at the moment (I can hear her vacuuming), won't be able to hear. It's nice of her.

So I give in, sit down at the table, and nod. Because technically, yes.

"Is that why you've seemed off for the past few days?"

I nod again.

"Did you do it? The breaking up?"

I shake my head. She makes a sad face.

"Want me to go beat him up for you?"

I roll my eyes. "No. It's fine. I knew it was coming."

"What happened?"

I stand up, chugging the rest of my water and then leaving my glass on the table. "I am so not talking about this with you."

She pouts. I ignore her and go upstairs. I pull out my phone and call Jillian.

She picks up immediately, and there's a very loud burst of static that sounds oddly like Jillian's voice. I wince and pull the phone away from my ear. "Jilly! I can't hear you when you're screaming like that, it just goes all static-y!"

"WHERE WERE YOU?!"

I look at the time and wince. "Oh. Um... well, Blair drove me home."

"Theodore..."

"And then... we talked. And cried. There was a lot of crying."

"Crying is healthy, but why were you talking to him?!"

"You know why. I- I love him." 

"I really hope you told him that you never want to see him again."

I bite my lip anxiously. "Um... not exactly?"

"Theo..."

"I did tell him that even though our relationship was worth whatever pain I'm feeling, I can't do it again."

"Good."

"And then said that if he wanted to have a relationship without an expiration date on it, then Imighttakehimback-"

"THEODORE SAMUEL-" very loud static. I pull the phone away from my ear again.

"Jilly! I can't hear anything you're saying!"

"Theo," she groans. "Of course he's going to say yes. It doesn't mean anything will actually change."

"He was honest with me last time. I don't think he would lie to me now."