Chapter 58

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The morning of September 1st at 12 Grimmauld Place is absolute chaos. The twins kept floating their suitcases down the stairs and ended up hitting Ginny, Ron barely packed, and Molly was yelling at the top of her lungs. Which of course, caused dear Walburga to join in. What made it even worse was that we needed guards to go with us. So, Harry, Molly, Sirius or Snuffles, and I head out the house first to meet up with Tonks.

"Where's Tonks?" I ask Molly, hoping she still isn't in a mood from earlier.

"Just up there," she says trying to ignore Sirius running happily beside her. I can't help but to laugh, it is after all, his first time out of the house in months.

"Wotcher, Harry. My favorite cousin," she winks at me only to earn a growl from Sirius. "Better hurry up."

"I know, I know," Molly sighs stiffly before babbling on about Mad-Eye. It takes almost a half hour to walk to King's Cross—which is filled with Tonks making terrible jokes and Molly get more annoyed by the second—and quite a while to get onto the platform with being noticed.

"I hope the others make it on time," Molly sighs worriedly.

"Can I go on the train?" I ask her pleadingly.

"You ought to stay-"

"Oh let her get on Molly, we'll be waiting forever for the kids and Remus. He's always like-"

"Noticed Remus' a bit slow huh Tonks?" I smirk as her hair turns bright red.

"I take back-"

"Nope, can't do that. Molly, please. I'm begging you. It's mostly Harry that anyone would be after," Sirius lets out a little growl, "Sorry Harry."

"It's true. Surprised you don't want to wait around for Fred-" Sirius starts to grow loudly at his name while Harry and Tonks smirk at me.

"Well, I best be going then."

"Eva wait-" Molly starts but I cut her off.

"Bye Molly! Bye Tonks! Bye Snuffles. Be good and don't get into any trouble. See you later Harry!" Before Molly could stop me, I had grabbed my trunk from the pile and started climbing onto the train. It wasn't long before I found Luna and Kala in a compartment already. At the sight of them I felt my heart drop a little. The boggart had looked so much like them.

"Hello you two." They look up from Luna upside down Quibbler.

"Hello Eva. How's your summer?" Luna asks dreamily, like always.

"Alright," I say shortly, "Has your dad gotten promoted to chief editor then?"

"He has," Luna looks up from the Quibbler with a big smile. I knew Xenophilius had been wanting to get promoted for a while and Luna took her father's achievements quite proudly.

Suddenly the door opened and Harry along with Neville and Ginny appear, "Hi Luna. Hi Eva. Is it okay if we sit with you guys?"

"Of course," I say at the same time Kala says.

"I'm here too."

The six of us sit awkwardly in the small compartment, not knowing what to say. While the four others break out into conversation, I nudge Kala.

"How's Laurie been? I owled her early in the summer but there was no reply." It took me a few weeks to realize I hadn't seen Laurie at all in the end of the year. I couldn't help but to feel bad I forgot about her.

"Dunno. I didn't see her after the er...well...and I owled her too," my eyes widen in surprise. "Don't look at me like that, she's grown on me. Anyways, it's obvious she was still in love with him so I decided to give her some space.

"Um," I look up and the new voice radiating through the compartment. Cho Chang. She takes one look at me and pales. "Well...just thought I'd say hello Harry. Er bye." She runs out quickly and I just notice Harry and Neville's messy appearance. It looked like they had run through a crowd of dirt.

"Scourgify!" Ginny yells, cleaning everything up. And at that moment I decide to look out the window and ignore the conversation around me. I can't help but to be a little afraid to go back to Hogwarts. I was knocked out of thoughts a little while later by Ron and Hermione sliding the door open. They both frown at the full compartment but I stand up right away.

"Got to get changed, you two can squeeze in." I rush out quickly, grabbing my robes out of my trunk before finding a lavatory. I slowly change, hoping that somehow the last hour left on the train would go by in this lavatory. But it doesn't and I realize I have to go back. But I don't want to, not with all those people in there suffocating me. Fred, it hits me. Of course, I can go see him. I walk down the corridor until I spot two redheads. I reach for the handle but stop at the sound.

Laughter. Fred, George, Angelina, Lee and Alicia Spinnet are laughing loudly. I had barely seen Fred laugh around me in months. Of course he laughed at whatever small jokes or small things around Grimmauld Place, but not like this. Whenever I was near, it was tears and comforting. Not like what it used to be. I quickly walk past, hoping no one saw me lingering, and go back to the lavatory. I couldn't bring down Fred, it just wasn't fair to him.

So I stay in the lavatory until it's time to get off the train. I don't bother to look for Kala, Luna or Fred and George. Instead I hop on a carriage with some younger Hufflepuffs who look at me weirdly. Of course they would, I came back from a maze with a dead body. Then I notice it. The horses, or not really, pulling the carriages. Thestrals, I could see them now. The thought of them just brought up Cedric once again, making me slump more into the deep, dark hole I was already going down.

After the painfully long carriage ride, I make my way to the Great Hall thinking about the beautiful creatures. They could only be seen when you've seen death. Luna had told me that my second year and now four years later I could see them along side her. I find Luna and Kala effortlessly and sit besides them. I ignore the Sorting Hat and the first years, I ignore Dumbledore and his welcomes, I ignore the grand feast that appears like every year. I ignore when a pink lady interrupts Dumbledore's speech. Instead I think of that night. Of Cedric, of his absence, of Laurie who hasn't shown. Of Ivan, who I never truly said goodbye to or even sent a letter. Of John, and the tremendous guilt I carried with me everyday. The thoughts cling to my mind until I'm out of the Great Hall, in bed, and asleep.

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