WOUNDED

CHAPTER 37

KACELY
Song: The greatest - Sia

I'm officially traumatized. Why?

Two reasons:

Firstly; today's the swimming competition and I can't be there because I let my hormones get all over the place. I'm sitting in my room trying to imagine what could possibly be going on there. Will Tabe and Amy be able to handle the team on their own? I wish I were there. I feel so useless and it's frustrating.

Second reason; I already told mom the "guys" and I had organised a small trip from tomorrow. I used that as an excuse or should I say lie to get away with Az. Mom told me she'll think about it but I honestly don't think she'll disagree. She even pities me for sitting at home like this so I really think she'll let me go on Saturday.

OK, back to why I'm traumatized; whenever Az and I hook up, she always always takes control - for obvious reasons. But this time, I want to switch the roles a little. The problem is that I don't know how I'll do that.
I don't know what to do. I found myself searching for weird stuff on Google like : how to go down on a girl, how to give good head for the first time, tips on giving head.

Time to clear my search history. What has my life turned into?

They keep saying the same thing, giving the same tips but no one is mentioning the fact that there's hair there. Like...

Am I the only one who finds that weird? Who finds it a little disgusting that there's hair around the famous pink canoe?

Who the hell invented oral sex and what were they thinking about? What was the inspiration? Talk more of the thought process? The thought of it honestly makes me cringe.
How are other guys comfortable doing it?
Why is no one else complaining in the comment section of the videos? And you're supposed to use your tongue?

Oh my God.

To be honest, sex is nasty.

"So nasty." I say out loud.

"But hot." Mini Henry reminds me.

Everything else being equal, I would've asked Henry for tips but he obviously isn't exactly on team Az so I guess I'll stick to Youtube. I come across this channel Gotham City and the host there - Luwando is so comfortable talking about sex. He is able to explain the acts so well and I wish I were him. I wish I was as experienced and confident in aspects concerning sex or at least as experienced as Henry. Henry started hooking up with girls when he was about fifteen. He's twenty now so think about it.
I should have hooked up with the girls he recommended back in Ghana, maybe the I won't be so ignorant.

"God!" I exclaim and fall back on my bed. The only motivation I have here is Az. When I think about the way she always makes me feel, the way she always pushes me to the edge, how involved she always is in every intimate activity we've shared, I want to be able to reciprocate. To make her feel as good as she does me.

But the hair!!!

My phone rings and Tabe's name is displayed on the screen.

"Hello Tabe" I answer

"Kacely, where are you?" He asks.

"I told you I got suspended right? I'm home."

"Home how?" He almost yells.

"I can't come to school, it's part of my punishment."

"No, you can come. You're just not allowed to participate."

"Seriously?" I ask and sit up.

"Yes! We need you here man. There's a situation."

"What situation?"