Darkest desires

s t a y

Draco POV
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Seeing her leaving so numb and emotionless wasn't easy for me, but it had to be done. I've realized how fucking toxic I am to her, and decided to stop it. The only way was to make her hate me even more, to make me look like I don't like her. That was one of the hardest things I had to do.

But it's for her own good. She deserves someone much better, someone who isn't so damaged like me. Her being with me would only make her sad and hurt.

I'm not capable of love. I don't think I ever will be. My parents don't love each other, so how would I even know?

But what if it's too late for that? What if she's already in love with me?

We stopped seeing each other and even talking after that evening. It's been a week since. I've noticed she doesn't attend all of her classes, and when she does, she shows up late with her eyes all red from crying.

It hurt me seeing her like that, it really truly does. But sooner or later, she will realize it's better this way.

We wouldn't work.

Chloé POV
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My nightmares are back and they're getting worse with every night. They're not just about Fleur anymore. Draco started to appear in them.

He mostly just hugs me and strokes my hair while I'm talking about my problems or my fears, and then when I look up to find him, he's gone or even worse, he can't see me.

I always wake up with my eyes and pillow all wet or sometimes I'm already crying.

I can't work like that anymore, I need to talk to Fred, who I've been shutting down whole week. I hope he's not mad at me about it.

Friday evening

I went through the whole castle to find Fred in the hall with George and Harry, Ron, Hermione. They're all laughing and smiling, I am glad someone's actually having a good time.

I waved at Fred, because I didn't want to just come up there and interrupt them. But he didn't notice me, so I guess I didn't have a choice.

I walked up to them and tapped Fred's shoulder.

"Hi." I said to everyone and they smiled at me.

"I haven't seen you in ages, how are you?" asked Fred and turned his whole body to me.

"Um, I just need to talk to you alone. Will you come to my room?" I said quietly, I didn't want anyone to think something.

"Yes, of course. Guys, I'm leaving you. Bye."

The whole way back to my room, I was quiet. Fred too, he sensed something's wrong.

When we came to my room, I shut the door and immediately started crying. I just couldn't keep it any longer.

"Chloé, tell me what's going on." He came up to me and gave me a big comforting hug. I leaned my head on his shoulder and cried even more.

"I'm fine." I lied.

"You're not fine, so cut the crap and tell me what happened."

I did want to tell him everything, but I couldn't through my crying. My throat was sore and sight almost blurred from the tears.

"Is it Draco?" He asked.

I nodded and then he pulled away to look at my face. I bet it's all puffy and red.

When I calmed down a bit, I told him everything. From the first night at Hogwarts to the evening. He listened to my every word and shook his head.

"And you've been trying to deal with this yourself?"

I nodded again.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know I'm always there for you!"

"I-I didn't want to bother you..."

"You're never bothering me. Now, promise me you'll stop thinking about him. There are plenty other guys who would love you much more than him. Okay?" He assured me and placed a gently kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you, I truly don't deserve you."

"Don't say that."

It was late and dark outside. I lied in my bed without changing my clothes, I'm so tired. From all the crying and overthinking.

Fred was ready to leave, but I needed someone to stay with me.

"Freddie?"

"Yes?"

"Could you maybe...wait til I fall asleep? Is it selfish to ask that?"

"No, of course it's not selfish. I'll stay."

I pointed at the free side of my bed and he laid down next to me.

"Thank you for everything." I whispered and closed my eyes.

I get is must be a very confusing situation for him, but I just hope he means it as a friend. I don't wanna hurt him, that's the last thing I want.

After a while, he probably thought that I'm asleep, he gently stroke my hair. Then he quietly left within a minute.