Chloé has been avoiding me for two weeks now. She did start to attend classes again though. Her face wasn't puffy and her eyes weren't red from crying anymore, so I assumed she's over me. I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
On one hand, she seems happier. Fred and George with Luna always occupy her, I'm glad she has friends who truly care about her. But that fucker Fred...
I know he stayed with her when she asked him to. I can know everything that's being said in her room, but I use it only occasionally. Like that time. I really hope he didn't touch her, motherfucker...
But on the other hand, I'm worried she'll get over me so much that I'll be nothing just a bad memory. I'm scared she won't talk to me ever again, or look me in the eyes.
I have to be near her. I have to make sure she's safe and not too sad.
I know about her nightmares, too. I hear her screaming almost every nigh and oh, how much I'd like to lay with her and make sure she's okay. But I have to keep my distance, otherwise I won't be able to control myself and I'll lose it. That can't happen.
"What are you thinking about?" Blaise asked me and passed me the flask with whiskey inside.
We're sitting in our common room, only the two of us. It's almost midnight, everyone else is asleep.
"Nothing. Just...thinking." I mumbled and drank up. I swallowed the alcohol and laid my head on the backrest of the sofa.
"Is it a girl?"
"None of your business, Blaise." I grunted and rolled my eyes.
"You can tell your best friend. It's not like I haven't noticed."
"Noticed what?"
"You've changed." He responded.
"People change. Nothing new."
I could feel the alcohol slowly heating my body.
"Have you fallen in love?"
"What the fuck are you asking me? Do I look like someone who falls in love? I'm incapable of love!" I snapped and threw the flask at him.
Then when I slowly stood up, my head was spinning a little.
"Go sleep, Draco. You're drunk." Said Blaise and left the common room. What a fucker.
"Go sleep, Draco." I mumbled to myself and went to my room as well.
I stopped by Chloés dorm. My head laid on the door, I loudly sighed. I was considering knocking, or just storming in. But what if I'd wake her? She's probably asleep. I don't wanna make a mess.
After I took a cold shower that partly sobered me up, I only made it to put on my pajama pants, when I heard a loud, painful scream.
Chloé.
If I was sober, if I only was fully conscious, I would ignore it. I'm kinda used to her scream anyway.
But I wasn't sober. I didn't think twice and opened the door to her room.
It was dark, I pulled out my wand, "lumos", so I could see her. She was in her bed, still asleep, but her mouth was screaming and sobbing, her body was shaking. It was painful to watch her.
I moved closer to her bed and gently touched her arms, so I won't scare her when she wakes up.
"Chloé," I whispered, but she kept screaming.
Her tears were everywhere, making her tshirt and bedsheets wet.
"I'm here," I said louder and touched her cheek.
She opened her eyes and looked disoriented for a while, but then she noticed me.
"Draco..."
"Shh, I'm here. It was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay?" I whispered.
"Was I screaming again?"
I nodded and sighed. Her eyes were puffy and red again. But still, she looked stunning.
"I'm so sorry..." she said through crying.
I sat next to her and took her shaking body into a hug. She fully laid into my arms, sobbing and crying. My hands gently stroke her back.
"I should go now." I whispered to her.
But I don't want to go.
"No, don't. Stay, please...I-I need you." She grabbed my hand so I won't leave.
She's not over me. My heart jumped and my face made a big smile.
"Okay, I'll stay."
She slowly leaned back to her bed, taking me with her. Her pillow smells exactly like her, jasmine flower and fresh cotton.
I hugged her from behind, so our bodies looked like spoons. She's so tiny, my body is like a shield for her. Her blonde hair is all over my face and her bump right on my...
Oh no. Not now. Please. Really, Draco?
"Is this okay?" I made sure.
"Uhm. I love this."
She must be still dreaming. There's no way she just said that to me. It made me smile so much.
I pulled her closer to my half naked body and sighed. I don't ever wanna leave her. She's mine.
"Draco, your body is so cold." She mumbled.
"And yours is so warm. We blend into each other."
"Yeah, I guess so..." she said in her cute sleepy voice.
I felt guilt. I felt guilty for not being there for her sooner, from her very first scream. I should've been there, assuring her everything's okay.
But that's why we can't be together. I can be like this - gentle and caring, making her comfortable. The only problem is, that I have two sides, one worse that I cannot control. And that's too much risk of hurting her. I can't do that.
I gently stroke her hair until I fell asleep too.
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