SuperCorp// No more Secrets

Since I Been Gone

"How can I put it? You put me on

I even fell for that stupid love song 

Yeah, yeah Since I have been gone"

"I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay and work through it with you. I wanted to listen to what you had to say. I wanted us to be okay again. But I knew we weren't. We had promised no more secrets, Lena. What happened? what happened to the promise we made? why didn't you tell me? maybe if you'd told me, we would have worked through it together. But you didn't tell me. I thought I could always count on you to tell me anything no matter how dark it was, I really did. And finding you with William then finding out that everyone had been lying to my face, pretending everything was okay, it made me so angry. I wanted to explode, I felt like my anger was consuming me. Seeing you at the DEO didn't help, looking into your eyes, feeling your presence, I couldn't stand it, Lena. I couldn't stand knowing that he had you. He had you because you let him. You let him because you couldn't let him get to me. And I just.....couldn't." After the first week, she had been gone, Kara had written.

One night she had been lying in bed looking at the stars through the ceiling and through the roof when a voice called, "a penny for your thoughts"

And for a bit, there was silence looming over them, "Uhhh... its nothing" she tried to shrug it off

"I find it hard to believe that, especially that you're here and not there, you're running away from something." the voice asked

"More like someone" she uttered silently, "but I guess it's more like family" she continued

"Family" the voice repeated, then went on, "Family can hurt you the most. They are supposed to have your back, love you unconditionally no matter what. They say, 'Blood is thicker than water.' It's what's seen on TV...picture perfect. But not everyone is like that. When a family member betrays our trust, we believe that we can no longer count on them, trust them, or understand why they did what they did; no matter how hard we try to hate them or run away from them we still experience the pain they caused. We lose acceptance, our sense of self-worth. We lose respect for that person and just stop trying. And instead of feeling love, we feel hurt and pain. Because they are the people we love most, and they know you well enough to push your buttons. We can only acknowledge the hurt, accept it and move on. Because in the end, we still love them"

"What if I can't move past it? then what?" she asked wearingly

"They are still your family aren't they" the knowledgeable voice stated questioningly

The Danvers was quiet, she seemed to be lost in thought again. She had been in her head half the day, her mind was always far away, 'beyond her reach' you could say.

"You're doing it again" pointed out the voice

"Doing what?" she obliviously asked

"Getting lost in your head." the voice answered back

"Yeah, lately I seem to do that a lot," Kara said

"Whatever it is Supergirl, you have to face it head-on. Stop running, I certainly didn't get where I am by running and hiding like a coward" the voice said as her commanding tone echoed across the room

"It's easier said than done, Ms Grant,"  Kara said

"Mmm... not really. You just get off your ass and face Lena Luthor or you can keep hiding here while National City, my home, your home is destroyed by that crazy maniac, Lex Luthor" Cat responded fiercely. You'd think she'd be a little gentle around Supergirl but she's always the same Cat Grant she's been, commanding, courageous, intelligent, awesome, and everything you could think of to describe her

"Wow!.. when you simplify it like that, it sounds so simple but in reality, it's not. I can't even imagine what I'm gonna say to her, that I am angry, that I don't know if I can move past it or that I don't know what's going to happen to us? "

"It is the truth isn't it?" Cat asked

"Yes. Yeah, it is the truth. But why does it hurt so much?" she went on and asked

"Because you love her.....because she's your everything, the one being that matters over everything else, and you probably can't imagine a life without her" as Cat was talking, you could tell that she was speaking from experience, perhaps she understood how it felt to have loved and lost, maybe, just a maybe.

"Yeah, she's my everything" Kara retorted 

"Then if you don't want to lose her, stop running," ms Grant said as she left the room, leaving the Kryptonian to her solitude.

That night she wrote her thoughts down on paper. 

"I wanted to throw him into space Lena. Just hearing his name makes my blood boil with so much rage.  I almost did it, Lena. I was close to doing it. Throwing him into a deep hole somewhere. The night I left, I went by his apartment, I saw him sitting on his couch, grinning at the Tv and I wanted to do it, Lena. The mere thought of him having you made everything in me open up. I almost did it and I don't understand how I could have done it. It's not in me. It's not. But Lena, I swear I could've if it meant he would never touch you or even look your way. But then it hit me, my love for you is not normal, it's possessive and controlling. It's ......I can't put it in words. It's like I don't want anyone to have you. You're mine and mine alone baby. No one gets to touch you like I do, no one gets to see you as I do, no one gets to have you as I do. Because you're mine, Lena. My love for you is consuming and I think that's partly why I left. I mean what kind of person loves like that?"

"You had your chance, you blew it out of sight, 

out of mind shut your mouth, I just can't take it

Again, and again, and again, and again"

"Lena, I am so mad. Mad at you, mad at Alex, angry at everyone for not telling me. I'm even mad at myself for not seeing it. It was too good to be true and I don't know if I can do it." That was the last sentence she had written the night she had heard from J'onn, "We could really use you right now" he had said 

She wasn't ready to go home. To go back to her family, the family that had lied to her. But she had to. She knew she had to. She had to face them.

"No more running," she thought