{ LIVING THE POGUE LIFE }

{38}

Brie felt like her head was going to explode any second, they weight of their situation crushing her. The guilt was almost too much to handle. She let JJ take the cash when the others begged her to stop him, and then she shot Barry.

Seeing that smoke was the worst feeling imaginable. It was like with her family all over again. She rushed to get JJ out through the midst of a panic attack, which she blamed for her stupid idea of trying to push a flaming door down with her bare hands.

When she found him lay on the floor, her first thought was that he was dead. He was dead and it was her fault. Relief couldnt even describe what she felt when he finally opened his eyes. In that moment, she was convinced she had lost him.

"Brie," Kiara said, turning around in the driver's seat of her car, "You okay?"

She nodded, not even attempting to speak in fear of breaking down in tears.

Pope sat up front in the passenger seat, sharing worried glances with Kiara as the car descended back into a miserable silence. JJ sat next to her in the back, looking conflicted. She figured that he probably wanted to say something to her. He would try and convince her that it wasnt her fault and that everything was going to be okay, but he probably realised that it wouldn't do any good right now.

She leaned her head back and stared out of the window at the trees passing by and let the thoughts of guilt and regret hound her again. There was no point in fighting them now. She might as well just give in.

A hand landed on her knee. She looked over and JJ gave her a warm smile. That familiar feeling of comfort spread through her chest, a momentary lapse of time passed where she forgot about everything. Of course, it only ever lasted a second. Then everything came crashing back down again.

She lay her hand on top of his and ran her thumb along his fingers, focusing on the feel of his skin to stop the threat of another panic attack creeping back in. Neither of them spoke. JJ let her bring his hand into her lap and watched her intently as she took slow, deep breaths.

JJ's face was still coated in the ashes of the smoke that had covered him when she found him. His hair was a dusty grey, skin marked with black smudges.

It could have been so much worse. Brie hated to imagine what could have happened. What would happen to her if she lost the person she loved most the same way she lost her family? Without a doubt, she would fall apart completely. Of course, she had John B, and Pope, and Kiara, and now Sarah, but that would never take away the pain of all that loss and heartbreak.

"Where are we going again?" Kiara asked her, seeming scared to even talk to her right now.

Brie gave the directions, and soon they were pulling into the close in the woods where the garage was hidden. She noticed straight away that the van had gone, which meant that John B was gone too.

"He's not here," Brie said, beginning to panic, "He told me he would wait here! He promised-"

"Brie," JJ said, squeezing her hand lightly, "He's probably fine. Just stay calm."

"How can I stay calm?" She cried, "This morning he was set on killing the man who murdered his father, and now hes missing."

"He doesn't have the gun, right?" Pope asked, nervously.

Brie sniffed and shook her head, pulling the gun from her back pocket. She handed it to JJ, who quickly stuffed it in his backpack.

"Of course I didnt leave him with the gun," Brie was almost offended, "I'm not an idiot, Pope. "

"I never said that," Pope defended, "I was just checking. Does anyone have any idea where he could be?"

"Well, there's the obvious place," Kiara said, looking between them.