C H A P T E R 25

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[25]

A L A S K A

The color drained from his face and he looked at me in utter shock

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The color drained from his face and he looked at me in utter shock. A tear slowly rolled down my cheek as I felt like a piece of broken glass was pushed into my heart.

I didn't love him nor did I care about him, but this decision was still kind of hard for me. He was always there since my birth until this one dreadful day. He had always been my favorite and I even let my birth giver abuse me because of him. I didn't want him to feel what I felt, that's why I was beaten half to death dozens of times. And in the end he didn't even notice. None of them noticed how badly Annika treated me. How her friends had bullied and even...touched me. In ways I definitely didn't want to be touched.

Everything was for those people who in the end just kicked me out like trash. They truly destroyed my life but half of it wasn't even their fault. Half of it was my fault since I was so attached to them. They had such a deep place in my heart that I wasn't able to leave them or to truly hate them. There was always this little part of me that still cared about them. And I despised it. I despised how I still couldn't hate them after everything they did.

But I've had enough of it. I've had enough of getting hurt and being pushed around like some toy.

I've had enough of being the Hades' little sister.

"W-what?" he choked out.

"You heard me, Phoenix. Please, don't make it harder, ok? Just accept it and tell the others that they should do the same, yeah? Please do that for me. You owe it to me." I whispered since I didn't have the energy to yell at him or to argue with him. I was just so tired and sick of this. I just wanted to get my life back.

I had Max and Leo. And...Xavier, I guess. I don't need more people in my life. At least not those people.

I turned around, stormed out of the door and pushed past some of my brothers who were eaves dropping and looking like ghosts out of my way. I didn't care though. Just like they never cared.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Max's number with shaky hands. I needed him right now, I needed them right now.

"The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please-"

I redialed his number over and over but he just didn't pick up. I did the same with Leo but his phone was turned off. My legs were trembling and my eyesight was blurry as I slid down a brick wall behind the school.

"Why don't you pick up?" I whispered.

"You're not gonna leave me again, right?

You're gonna stay with me forever, aren't you?

We've been trough so much shit together. You can't just leave me now.

I....I love you guys."

"Someday we're gonna die and no one's gonna remember us...so, fuck it." I whispered and broke down in tears as the anxiety bottled up inside of me again. This fear was always there even if I never spoke about it or acknowledged it. It was always there. It was a part of me. A part that I'd love to not have.

I am afraid to end up alone. Afraid of having no one left. Afraid of losing the most important people in my life once again.

All of a sudden I felt warm hands wrap around my body and pull me into a hard chest. Panic rose up in my throat but as soon as I heard his voice I broke down. I bawled my eyes out while he stroked my hair and whispered soothing words into my ear.

My heart warmed at his gesture and my walls crumbled down almost completely. The way he affected me was dangerous. Very dangerous, to be exact. My heart gave in to him and I was in my most vulnerable state right now. If he wanted to hurt me he could easily do that. If he wanted to break me I wouldn't be able to stop him.

If he wanted to kill me I would let him.

"I'm here. Shh, you're not alone." he assured whereupon I clutched myself onto him even more.

"I-I am so a-afraid." I hicupped.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"What...what if...what if they leave me? What if they leave me like everybody else? What if I end up alone in the end?" I cried out. My whole body was trembling and my heart rate picked up.

"Shh. Shh. I'm here. I will never leave you. You hear me? I will never ever leave you." he said and pulled me even closer if that was even possible.

He gently put his hand on my head and pressed it against his chest so I could hear his heart beat. That's when the world around me blurred out. All I could hear was his heavy breathing.

Suddenly I heard a low but loud pumping noise. It was steady and came out even. Slowly it's rate picked up and it became faster and louder wit every pump. It was like I listened to one heart though I was actually listening to two. It was like we had the same heartbeat.

My breathing calmed down and my tears stopped falling as I listened to it further. It was like music played on a piano but more beautiful than any pianist could ever play.

In that moment I felt so safe. I felt like I could forget about my past and my scars when I was with him. Like I could open my heart for him and never let him go again. I felt like I could let go of my past with him....

...with Xavier Ricci.





Hey there. This was again a very emotional chapter, oops. I don't know how but this just happens, ya know? 😂

I hope the next one will be a bit more light and funny again.

Anyways, what do you think is going on with Max and Leo?
Will they leave her or will they come back?

P.s: There are a lot of comments lately, which is why I'm not able to answer all of your comments.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and love that you give me so much feedback and that you voice/comment your opinions and ideas, but that's why I can't reply to every single comment lately.

Sometimes I also don't really know how to answer to the comments, but yeah. 😅

Stay safe ya guys! Love y'all!
♡♡

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