Remain Nameless

Chapter 50

"It's just jitters mate, it'll pass. This is normal."

"No, no. Theo, no. This is not normal, I am not normal, I do not feel normal."

I am okay with this. I am okay with this.

"Hmm, and what happened to the wizard who insisted, 'Oh it's just a Muggle ceremony, I'm not that fussed about it, I won't be nervous.'"

Draco had said that. Several times. Verbatim. But he really didn't need reminders from Theo of what an idiot he'd been on today of all days.

"Do you write down every stupid thing I say?"

"No, because if I did that, I'd have to build a whole new wing to my already overflowing library."

If Draco had the wherewithal to glare at his friend, he'd have done so, but currently all his energy was being directed into willing his body not to throw up.

"Have you eaten anything?" asked Sasha as she pinned a boutonniere to Theo's suit lapel. A symbolic gesture as they'd forgone a formal bridal procession with attendants. Draco would stand alone.

Draco gave a sort of feeble grunt and motioned vaguely at the tray of tea and untouched sandwiches Hermione's mother had dropped off about an hour ago.

"Right, well that's stupid," she clipped and poured him a cup of tea to which Theo added a measure of firewhisky from a flask.

Draco was holed up in the Grangers' sun room with the Notts as babysitters, and would soon be expected to march out the French doors and take his place at the end of an aisle in front of a crowd of mostly Muggle strangers.

Sasha shoved the cup into his numb hands. "Hold still," she ordered unnecessarily and pinned a sprig of flowers to his jacket too. Flowers he hadn't bothered helping to select because he was a complete and utter fuckwit. Gods, he'd let his fear of the unfamiliar override supporting Hermione in planning their fucking wedding like the selfish idiot he'd somehow always find a way to be.

"You really should eat," Sasha admonished quietly. He could only shake his head. He'd found eating a rather cumbersome task the past few days and had trouble forming full sentences. Speaking for a reasonable length of time seemed to require more breath than usual, his lung capacity refusing to cooperate and retreating into a sensation of restricted airflow.

"I shouldn't... we shouldn't... fuck me, how did I ever convince myself that... fuck. I should just... apparate away... hide out in fucking... Estonia or... Peru or... fuck."

Sasha rolled her eyes and moved away with a muttered, "drama queen, honestly."

Theo made a show of peering out the curtains at the presumably assembled crowd awaiting a groom currently in danger of disappearing altogether and starting a new life on the run, possibly as a Muggle.

"Well, Potter's here, so if you do a runner, you've basically assured the entire weight of the DMLE will be thrown into your capture and mutilation," drawled Theo, giving Draco a pointed look before continuing his survey of the guests.

"Oh look and there's Ginevra. Actually I might be more afraid of her than Potter... and there's Weasley, he'd probably get his entire brood involved in your torture... I believe that's your Aunt Andromeda, and we all know crazy runs in the Black family... this is before even mentioning your wife-to-be, who I've yet to see for obvious reasons, but I know for a fact she would hex every last inch of you if you were to break her heart in this public of a venue..."

"She'd be fine... better off," Draco rasped. Theo let out a sort of frustrated exhale and pulled the curtains shut. Draco didn't miss the concerned look shared between Theo and Sasha.