soulmates // damon salvatore fanfic // tvd

11

Damon's pov

Alexandra.

The girl I've been dreaming of ever since I was a kid. It all just came back to me in this moment. Everything about her. Every memory I have of her. It's all here. As a kid, she was always with me in my mind. I dreamed of finding this girl...and one day I did.

It's a long story. One that only I know. I made it a life's mission to find Alexandra. Stefan and I did everything we could to find her, but then my world changed. I met Katherine and I was turned into a vampire. From there, I didn't care anymore. I pushed the thought of Alexandra away.
Far away.

Decades later, I found her. It was on a normal day. She was clearly upset and walking through the streets and I noticed her instantly. At first, I thought maybe I was dreaming again, but realized it was all real. So, everything came back to me and I knew I had to talk to her. From that point on, I fell in love with her. I made sure to stay around and continue to see her. We formed a relationship. A deep connection. It almost felt perfect...but it didn't last.

I didn't want to bring her into my world. I didn't want to put her in danger or have her find out all the horrible things I did. Then...I got news. I found out Katherine was alive, and everything changed. Anger took over my life and I knew I had to push Alexandra away. It was the hardest decision of my life, but I did it.

One day, I took Alexandra out and gave her a necklace. I wanted her to always have a piece of me, but I knew we couldn't be together. So, I compelled her. I made her forget everything she knew about me. And I made her forget that we ever met. It shattered me so much that I then had to turn my humanity switch off and shut all my emotions off towards her. So I did. I turned it all off.

And now I'm here. Standing in front of my brother who just reminded me of her. I remember everything, but...I feel nothing. I feel the urge to feel something towards her, but I'm fighting it. I don't care about her.  I can't. I never can have her in my life again.
Especially not after this.

"Damon" I heard and looked up to see Stefan staring at me.

"Well, I don't know what else you want me to say Stefan" I said handing the picture back to him.

"That's it? That's the only reaction I'm going to get from you?" He said.

"What would you like me to say exactly?" I said.

"Damon...this is her. She's right here in front of you. We've been looking for her for decades. She's real.  I know you remember" He said and I look away.

"No, we stopped looking for her decades ago. And what do I care if she's real or not? I don't even know her" I said lying. I don't need my brother knowing everything that happened between us or that I shut my emotions off to her. He has no idea I even found her when I did.

"What happened to you, Damon? She was everything to you! Does that not mean anything anymore!?" He said angrily.

"No, it doesn't." I said turning away from him.

"You know she had the same dreams of you. Ever since she was a kid. It was both of you. It means something, Damon. Don't you wanna know what?" He said.

"You wanna know what I'm worried about?! Finding Katherine!" I said turning back to him and he just stared at me.

"Katherine is dead" He said.