Another Love

XXI. I Have It

Days had passed by slowly, dragging on for what seemed like weeks. All their time was spent amongst the shining glittering gold of the treasure room and it wasn't looking up for any of them.

Thorin was beginning to grow impatient and angry, he didn't eat, he barely slept and he wasn't being himself in the slightest. The company was worried.

The wizard was ordered to sit and watch instead of partaking in the search. His place was right beside the dwarf king and if he moved there would be many questions and shouting, and not only from Thorin. Lucien was struggling with it but he decided to let it play out.

The thought of those townspeople back in Dale crossed Lucien's mind almost every hour. Everything was so contrasting. In Dale, he was staying outdoors with the injured, he was able to leave whenever he wanted, he stayed out of choice. Now, he was almost trapped in the mountain of Erebor, always having one of two others by his side, it was as if they found him weak.

"I feel suffocated," Lucien told Balin one morning as they spoke privately amongst each other.

The dwarf gave him a look of pity and empathy, understanding what the wizard meant. Everyone was being much too protective of Lucien's actions. "I know." Was all Balin could say.

"I want to leave the mountain. Go see Bard and his children and Carson and Martha. What if that little boy is already gone and I wasn't there to help him or say goodbye?" The wizard spoke anxiously, "I miss them, Balin, but if I ask to leave I know I will be locked away in my room or Eru knows where."

Balin sighed, everything he was saying was true. He had told him about the ring and the promise and already the dwarf was changing, he never yelled at or hurt Lucien but there were times when he scared his company and it wasn't right.

"I'm sorry, Lucien. He won't listen to me anymore, he does as he pleases. And until he comes into possession of that stone things will not change, although I am afraid it will not be for the better."

Hearing this only diminished the hope within Lucien further. Gandalf must have known this would happen, why did he let it? Lucien saw glimpses but not enough to make a final decision and even if he did, who would listen to him?

"I am frightened," Lucien frowned, "What if he harms you? Or Kili?" He looked in the direction of the two brothers, sitting not too far from them, "Or Ori? I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Balin shook his head, placing a small hand on the wizard's shoulder, "There is nothing that can be done, my boy. Just do as he says, he would never harm you, Lucien."

"...Why did you say it like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Back to work!" The booming voice of Thorin filled the room, eyeing each dwarf individually before they all got to their feet to hurry to the treasure room. Balin gave him one last glance and followed after his brother.

Lucien's eyebrows creased as he watched them go. Seeing the hobbit walk past him, feet dragging, Lucien took a hold of his wrist.

Bilbo jumped in shock and turned to face the familiar and welcoming eyes of the wizard. "Lucien, you frightened me." He chuckled slightly, though it did not reach his eyes where dark circles lay underneath.

"I apologize, Bilbo. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Lucien gave him a small but sad smile.

Bilbo looked away, to the door his friends left through, to the floor, then to his pocket. The contents were feeling immensely heavier than they ever had.

"Bilbo?" Lucien's soft voice broke his thoughts, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Those eyes, they could see the truth in anything. Bilbo was afraid to say something he would regret. He was not scared of telling the wizard, he knew he would understand, but then that meant Lucien would also have the same weight on his shoulders that he does. It wasn't fair.

The hobbit opened his mouth to speak, though he was not thinking all too clearly. "I want to tell you, Lucien, I do, but I don't know if I can." His voice trembled, already feeling the guilt.

Lucien frowned, squeezing the hobbit's wrist in a comforting way, "Why ever not?"

"It's dangerous and I do not want you to get hurt."

"But I'm already in the middle of it, here, with him. Nothing will happen to me, little one, and nothing will happen to you." The wizard assured, "I promise." He brought the small creature into his arms, calming him from the inner turmoil.

Bilbo breathed out shakily, laying his head on the wizard's shoulder. "I have it," He whispered as if someone was listening from around the corner, "I have the stone."

It was silent for a moment, only the distant howling wind through the tunnels and halls were heard.

Lucien nodded, rubbing the hobbit's back, "Okay." He spoke just as softly and suddenly eased Bilbo's mind and soul and he melted into the wizard's arms. That was all he needed to hear.

"Lucien!"

"Lucien?!"

"Bilbo?!"

The dwarves called. Only getting louder by the second.

Lucien sighed as the two walked towards the voices. He couldn't have one moment of peace.

They entered the treasure room, splitting ways. One to the pit of gold and the other to the ledge where the king was stood.

Thorin looked at him. "Where were you?" He demanded to know.

"I was with Bilbo. We were talking."

After that things went silent. Hours upon hours until night had struck and he was sent to bed. Lucien felt awful for leaving his friends to work while he went to sleep but they were also the ones that told him to go. What could he do?