Prologue

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The club. They were at the club. And Jeno hated the club.

The music was too loud and there were too many people. Too many happy people.

Jeno swirled his liquor filled cup as he glanced around the room filled with the other Phoenixes, celebrating the start of the new year. Taeyong had rented out the large room just for the occasion.

Jeno was now watching as the seconds went by, with each passing one, they were getting closer to the end of the year.

Just hurry up and say Happy New Year so we can go home.

"You look miserable." Jaemin commented, sitting in the booth across from him. "Does it have to do with them?"

Jeno eyes followed Jaemin's to the happy couple dancing in the middle along with many of the other gang members, having the time of their lives.

Haechan and Ayeon.

Their love was definitely as pure as it could possibly be, both falling for each other at first sight. Ayeon had joined the gang just to be with Haechan, and Jeno had to admit, the two were made for each other.

Ayeon was able to compliment Haechan in every way that she could, making up for any flaws he had. Haechan could do the same with her. Ayeon was also a nice girl, one that Jeno thought was a good fit for his cousin.

But the couple was not the reason why he was feeling miserable that night.

"No, why would I care about that?" Jeno asked, downing the shot in his hands before passing the empty glass to Jaemin for a refill.

Jaemin gave him a look and as much as the alcohol burned his throat, Jeno had to admit, it eased the pain

Especially since Jaemin took my cigarettes and all our vapes away.

Jaemin sighed before pouring Jeno another shot. "You know, maybe you should go downstairs and have some fun."

"You say that every time we go to the club." Jeno said before downing the next shot.

Why does alcohol burn so much?

"Well don't you like meeting new people?"
Jaemin asked.

By "meeting new people," Jaemin was referring to the girls that Jeno brought home every now and then, some from the college, others not.

"I was going to stay up here for the countdown but I guess I won't now." Jeno said, getting up.

"That's not what I meant." Jaemin said but Jeno was already way ahead of him, beginning to walk towards the exit of the room.

Before he got too far though, he heard the exact words exiting Jaemin's mouth with a deep sigh.

"Guess I'll sleep in Haechan's bed tonight."

...

Jeno always felt guilty. It was never a good feeling in his chest, but it was just a sacrifice he had to make to get what he wanted.

"That tattoo is awfully charming." The girl he was dancing with who had clearly had enough alcohol for Jeno to smell whispered in his ear. "What's the meaning behind it?"

She was referring to cross on Jeno's right cheekbone.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." Jeno simply replied, pulling the girl closer to him as he responded.

Jeno was waiting for the countdown, which was only seconds away now, staring at the clock as he held the girl up against his body.

After that, I can get out of this place.

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