His Dark Obsession

Chapter 14: Wounds

Ian inspected the gravestones to look for any crevices or cracks but to his relief he found them just like they had looked over two years ago -- the last time he was here, was two years ago! Time sure did fly. He looked at both the graves, side by side, both had the same date of passing engraved on them.
His parents had had a happy marriage. Growing up, they didn't have a lot but they were a happy family -- Ian was utterly grateful to his parents for that and, it also made him miss them more; they were his rock. His father had taught him that nothing was more important than integrity, he had taught Ian most sports as well. Ian had also frequently gone on camping trips with him and they had also often hiked through treacherous yet beautiful countryside terrains. Ian's father was a man's man and he wished his son to have the same love for outdoors and sports that he did.
Ian's mother was a kind, sweet soul. Ian often saw his mother in his sister Kristen. His mother had the talent to bring everyone together - she was the nucleus of their family and they gathered around her to receive her love, support and affection. Ian felt lucky to have had such amazing parents, and whenever he missed them, he prayed for them.
A single tear made its way down Ian's face as his heart filled with immense sorrow. He was suddenly reminded of the fateful day he lost them. He had come home from college for Christmas, and Ian and his parents had just finished having dinner - it was Christmas eve. They were planning on spending Christmas day with their entire family in the countryside and were also planning on bringing Ian's grandmother with them. They had then gone to meet Ian's grandmother at the nursing home and Ian had stayed back. Ian remembered calling Kristen that night to inform her of their plans because she was honeymooning in Paris. He had wanted the couple to join their countryside plan but Kristen had joyously informed Ian that her husband had extended their trip to include a few days in Italy to it.
That night, Ian's parents hadn't returned for a while so he had first tried calling them on their phone...they hadn't picked up. He had then called the nursing home to inquire about them, only to find out that they had been gone for over two hours. Ian still remembered the rush of panic he had felt at that point. He had then rushed outside to go looking for them.
He had only just made it to his car when his cellphone rang - it was his father. He had picked it up feeling a sense of relief which had immediately diminished when the man on the other end had not been his father, "Hello, is this Ian?"
"Yes. This is my father's phone, may I know who this is?"
"Yes, Ian, I am with your father at the hospital. He and your mother are both here. They had an accident...."
"Which hospital?" Ian had interjected, and had already put keys in the ignition. His heart had thumped so loudly that he could hear it all the way in his brain and his blood had flown in rhythmic, anxious pulses in his head. He had wanted to get to them as soon as possible. When he had reached St Thomas', he rushed to the emergency in state of dread and panic. He blurted out the names of his parents and had been directed to the surgical ward-they had both been in surgery. Ian remembered sitting there for what seemed like an eternity before a doctor emerged from one of the operation theaters and Ian rushed to his side to ask him about his parent's progress.
"You are their son? We are in the middle of surgery right now. I can't say much. They have both received acute head injuries due to a head on collision with a moving truck. I will advice you to pray, if God wills it, your parents shall both come out of this...", the doctor had shaken Ian's hand and patted his back before heading back in.
Ian still remembered praying, just sitting outside the theater, crying and praying. He had become numb to his surroundings and was sitting in a chair praying for his father, for his mother. He had prayed to God, with such intensity, holding his hands together, that his fingers turned ash-white.
Ian had never felt so helpless as he had in that moment. And as he stood in front of their graves now, he recalled the doctor telling him that they had both not made it.
Ian's tears came trickling down, of their own accord, thinking of that moment. His world had come crashing down on him in the space of those two minutes the doctor had given Ian his condolences. He hadn't known who to turn to. He didn't know how, if ever, he was going to move past the pain he had felt. He had to tell his sister. He had to tell his grandmother. He hadn't known how he was going to do any of that.
Ian now stood in front of the graves of his parents, brave enough to revisit the past, brave enough to let them know that he had been able to take care of his sister and his grandmother at that time, also brave enough to tell them that he was going to visit them more often now. He put a bouquet of fresh flowers on each their graves and then kissed his hand and caressed both stones with it. They had made him the man he was today, he owed everything to them. Their love and encouragement had made him strive for excellence....
He sat down in front of the graves then and did something he had never done before, "Hello, Mother...Father. I don't know if you are hearing this but I wanted to tell you that I am sorry  I didn't come to visit the past two years. I had drowned myself, so much, in work, that I didn't give myself room to think of anything. I am sorry. But now, I have started to think again...there's this girl. Back home, in New York. Actually...she's with Jake. But I think, I sort of, like her. And I think I want to tell her...anyway. Kristen is doing fine. Her kids are such cheeky little monsters," he laughed at that and then continued, "I love them, and granny...I met her...she misses you guys a lot. She gets distressed thinking that you guys had been going to see her when it happened...I told her not to think like that...I miss you guys. I wish you were both here...." Ian wiped off his tears then and got up and silently walked away. He felt lighter than he had in years. It had been the first time he had talked to them, like this, and it had made him feel like they had listened to him.